What can you say to a beautiful woman in a bar that will immediately convince her that you're witty, intelligent, gentle, understanding, interesting, and, above all, attractive? Hell if I know, but these are the ones I like the most.
"Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?"
"Bend over and receive your destiny."
"But in countless alternate realities, I’ve already slept with you, and it was the greatest experience of our lives. Can you afford to take the chance that this reality might not be the one?" – Chris Bridges
"Can I run my toes through your hair? "
"Don't eat that. Eating that can cause very large breasts. Oh my God, I'm too late!" – Val Kilmer, Real Genius
"Care to join me in a barbaric mating ritual?"
"Come over tonight, I’ll show you the position they named after me."
"Don't resist me, Mama. It's boogie time." – Wilmer Valderrama, That 70's Show
"Eventually, your standards will lower enough to include me, and I'll be waiting."
"I would my horse had the speed of your tongue… " – Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare
"Go ahead and touch me. You deserve it."
Guy #2 – "So… where you girls been all our lives?"
Daria – "Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here… alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin." – Unknown and Daria, Daria
"God really won't mind if you do me."
"Hey, where all the white women at?" – Cleavon Little, Blazing Saddles
"Hi, I’ll be your entertainment for the evening."
"How do you look when I'm sober?" – Ring Lardner
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" – Mae West, Myra Breckinridge
"I don't dance, but I'd love to hold you while you do."
"I have some tricks.
I will show them to you.
Your mother will not mind at all if I do." – Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat
"I'm drunk, and right now I'm SO in love with you. "
"I'm feeling like we oughta take off all our clothes, grind our genitals together for twenty or so minutes, then hop in the shower for a rinse and some cunnilingus, then jump back in bed, eat some Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and then maybe have another go at it. How are you feeling?" – Dan Savage, Savage Love
"I'm just a victim of my genetic caveman heritage. C'mere."
"Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?" – Madeline Kahn, Blazing Saddles
"I’ll let you think you can change me if you’ll let me think I can fuck you."
"Let's fool around. Let's do it some strange way that you've always wanted to, but nobody would do with you." – Mariel Hemingway, Manhattan
"I’m not begging, I’m flirting."
"It's nights like this that drive men like me to women like you for nights like this." – Bob Hope to Hedy Lamarr, My Favorite Spy
"I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week. "
"Hi! I’ve been sent to give you a singing mammogram."
"I’ve evolved into the clitoris’ perfect predator." – Chris Bridges
"I’ve heard only the most sensitive and artistic women still swallow."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" – Peter Graves, Airplane!
"Letitia: How tall are you without your horse?
Coyote Bill: Well, ma'am, I'm six feet seven inches.
Letitia: Never mind the six feet, let's talk about the seven inches." – Mae West and Andy Devine, Myra Breckinridge
"Lick me ‘til I cry. "
"If you need me, just call. You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles." – Rachel Ward, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
"Listen to my voice and look deeply into my thighs."
"Look, as long as you’re going to keep opening your mouth anyway… "
"Oh, you look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?" – Kang, The Simpsons
"Once I get my tongue on you, you’re mine forever."
"Quick, cling tenaciously to my buttocks!"
"Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want." – Dr. Nick Riviera, The Simpsons
"Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?" – Peter Graves, Airplane!
"Would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during mating?"
"Vhy don't you woosen your buwwets?" – Madeline Kahn to Cleavon Little, Blazing Saddles
"You can’t go wrong with me, but you’re welcome to try."
"You'd look so much better in whipped cream and sprinkles."