…you spend more time putting on makeup to use your computer than you do to go out
…you catch yourself, even during business meetings, looking up and smiling every 45 seconds
…you have an irresistible urge to touch yourself whenever you see the security camera at the 7-11
…you feel awkward when you're only having one conversation at a time
…you're talking to someone and you have to leave for a moment, you place a "Be Right Back" sign on your seat
…you can't shake the feeling that all computers, everywhere, are watching you, and it doesn't bother you
…during moments of passion you cry out "Refresh! Refresh!"
…you find yourself wondering if Java would improve your man's performance, or crash his system
…sex just doesn't seem right without a keyboard nearby
…after sex, you send "thank you" notes to Logitech and Creative Labs
…whenever you're talking to your boss, even if it's in person, you keep trying to bring him up in a remote window so you can be doing something fun at the same time
…you can't have sex without checking angles first and consulting a light meter
…your favorite lover is named "Bart6969@aol.com"
…you clean your bedroom you only straighten the 160º cone of space in front of your computer
…you haven't moved from your house in 45 days but you've said hello to more people than George W. Bush
…your boyfriend is suddenly paying much more attention to what his own butt looks like, just in case
…on certain strange nights you find yourself willing to consider suggestions sent to you from people you'd never be seen with in daylight
…you find out, one strange night, that the regular computer mouse is much easier to retrieve than the cordless one
…your husband develops a Pavlovian reaction every Friday night at 8:00, PST
…you've stopped shaving below the waist
…you go in for a sonogram and ask the doctor if you can arrange a simulcast
…you get caught in one of those little photo booths trying to get your ankles over your head