Actually, that pretty well explains it.

Meatcards.com, a new startup offering business cards laser-etched onto strips of beef jerky — because, why not? — is offering sample cards to the first people to send decent live re-enactments of one of three classic Frank Frazetta paintings. But you have to be sincere.

The FIRST TEN NON-HALFASS PICTURES RECEIVED are winners. The definition of "non-halfass" is entirely, solely, and irrevocably up to the judges, and our judgment is final. And when we say "non-halfass", we mean it. You better have a halberd and a bikini and a RIGHTEOUS expression on your face if you're going for "Fire and Ice", and SOMEBODY better be in a bikini.

Since not everyone can hustle this up that quickly — it's a pain trying to rent a dinosaur during rush hour — they're also picking the five best entries submitted before 9 am next Monday, June 22.

Everything about this appeals to me, and I hope they display every entry they get. Go read the rules just to get an idea of the true, horrible scope of this contest. And if you enter, good luck!