Why would you hire a doll? Vote for the Dollhouse DVD winner!
July 18th, 2009 | 
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The submissions for the Dollhouse Season One DVD contest are in, and I've selected ten finalists. And I'm really wishing I had hired a doll to help me do it. You people are creative.
Granted, the most common request was for a doll to help you win the contest itself. Then it was either for a doll to help you meet Joss Whedon, or to be Joss Whedon. Quite a few of you wanted to meet yourself, or see how others see you. Several of you specifically requested a doll to go deal with Fox executives, either in a businesslike manner or with massive firepower. And more than a few stressed that you could not in good conscience ever justify hiring a doll, but you wanted to win anyway 
Here's the ten I chose, more or less arbitrarily. They're either representative of many similar ones, or they offer unique ways to use a very singular resource, or they just caught my eye. Now I need you to vote for the ones you like, up to three entries per voter. Names of entrants have been left out for privacy, although if the entrants themselves want to go public, hey, go wild. Some of the entries have been edited slightly, for space.
You can vote till 9 p.m. EST Wednesday, July 22. (Updated, and here's why) After that the winner will be announced, and another winner will be randomly drawn from all the entrants. Good luck to everyone!
Why would you hire a doll?
- Because I have a perfectly good see-saw that's just sitting there. It's just sad. (45%, 21 Votes)
- To be my tour guide in places I've always wanted to visit, like Italy or China. Native fluency in the language and familiarity with the location to provide an insider's perspective. (23%, 11 Votes)
- I would have myself put into a guy's body. See what it's like to manage different plumbing, interact with people as a guy, and go to places and events where girls are either unallowed or unwelcome. (21%, 10 Votes)
- I would hire a doll with the collective knowledge of the greatest researchers and cure cancer (and other medical and environmental ills). Why hasn't the Rossum Corporation done this?! (21%, 10 Votes)
- I'd hire a doll with Topher-like abilities to build another imprinting machine and make my own dollhouse. :) It's like asking for more wishes, but a million times more illegal and unethical ;) (19%, 9 Votes)
- To dress as an evil clown and stalk me. And then my friends would ask, "Hey, why is that clown following you?" and I'd say, "Cause I killed his parents!" And then they would finally respect me. (19%, 9 Votes)
- My friend's husband died three days before she was diagnosed with cancer. I would hire a doll to give her and their 4 kids an amazing picnic and be a family again, even if only for a moment. (11%, 5 Votes)
- To carry out my final wishes after I die, tie up all the loose ends I didn't have the stomach to in life, tell my loved ones I loved them and my enemies why I thought of them as such. (4%, 2 Votes)
- To be programmed with the personality, opinions and experiences my niece might have had if she hadn’t died 10 years ago. And then I would take her to lunch and let her tell me all about herself. (4%, 2 Votes)
- To take over a nation. The right skill set could be used to inflame the populous into revolt, take out the dead wood, take over, then run it rationally. (2%, 1 Votes)
Total Voters: 47
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The see-saw’s the best; snappy and clever.
3 remind me of Lovely Bones among other things (one of those being another Dollhouse ep), asking for more wishes is the cliché answer to the genie question and I don’t think Rossum would allow it anyway, one is…Terminator-y among other things and I don’t think Rossum wouldl allow me personally to do it, one comes off more creepy than funny, one’s kind of boring, gender-bending is common in sci-fi (and technically can be done irl), Rossum does not want to cure cancer.