Archive for June, 2011

Indie artist, geek diva and all-around talented lady Marian Call is nearly finished with her newest release, "Something Fierce, Vol. 1," and she's just released a song from it: "Good Morning Moon."

She was challenged to write the song that astronauts on the shuttle should wake up to, and she did. It's a happy, muppety, relentlessly cheerful song that will get stuck in your head. Sorry.

And I'm in the background, one of the many voices that contributed to the chorus and whistling. So from now on I'd appreciate it if you'd refer to me as "Recording artist Chris Bridges," thanks. Now to go update my LinkedIn profile…

You can hear it below or at her site mariancall.com, but please consider buying a copy so she can keep doing this.

My dehoarding continues, with this latest eBay offer:

Browncoats rejoiced when fan-favorite collectible card company Inkworks got the license to make Serenity cards and they sold very well, but nothing sold out faster than the binder for them.

Commemorating Joss Whedon's movie "Serenity," the big-screen continuation of his popular-but-canceled show "Firefly," Inkworks produced a gorgeous set of 72 cards depicting scenes (and behind-the-scenes) from the movie. The binder is sturdy, 11 1/2" by 10" by 1 3/4" and contains the basic 72-card set, plus the following promo cards:

SP-i
SP-1
SP-NSUSD
SP-SD 2005 (Comics Con exclusive)
SP-UK (from a British collecting magazine, I think)
SP-CEE
SP-WW
DST-1 (advertising the action figures)
DS S1, DS S2, DS S3, DS S4, DS S5 (came with the action figures)

This is as complete a set of the promo cards as I've seen, and some of them are very hard to find.

The binder is in excellent condition, having sat snugly on my shelf since I bought it. The Serenity movie poster is on the front, and on the back is the cast and our girl Serenity flying in the black (or, rather, the blue). Slight wear on the top and bottom of the spine but it could easily be new out of the box, and it's even signed on the inside back cover by Inkworks president Allan Caplan. I'll even toss in the promo sheet advertising the card set, and the display box (folded) the cards came in. The cards are all in excellent condition (pics show some spots but they're from my crappy scanner).

Don't miss your chance to own this rare and hard-to-find Serenity collectible.

So I entered NYCMidnight's Screenplay Writing Contest, because I am a fool, and in the first round my group received the following assignment: Drama, Courage, A Dishwasher.

Ooookay. Here's what I entered. Results of the first round came back this week and I was one of the 5 in my group that's moving to round 2, so it can't have been too bad.

Wet Work

EXT. DINER – DUSK

The sun is setting on a small, quaint diner on the corner of a city intersection. The sign says "The Diner on 3rd." We move in as two young waitresses walk out, still gathering their things as they go.

KAREN

–am not going out with you. I’ve
been here since 6 in the frickin’
morning! If someone slipped me a
roofie tonight I’d take it just to
get some sleep.

LILA
(taking her arm)

We will indeed go out and terrorize
this town with our hotness and if
need be I will pour shots down your
throat like a baby bird because I
am your friend and I love you.

They pass us. An older man wearing an apron, JACK, steps

into the doorway to watch them get to their cars.

JACK
(yelling)

Don’t listen to her and her evil
ways! I need you back here
tomorrow! Upright!

Jack smiles, shakes his head and FLIPS the OPEN sign to read CLOSED as he steps back inside.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER – NIGHT

The diner was clearly designed by someone who loved the 50s, possibly in a kind of stalky, obsessive way. Jack goes behind the counter and does cash register things. A Japanese-American teenager, IZZIE, is sweeping the floor. Izzie is a surburban kid trying to look street and nearly succeeding. He has a fading bruise on one cheek. Somewhere, CLASSICAL MUSIC is playing softly.

JACK

Hey, Iz. Good night tonight

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

You’ve been doing a hell of a job
since you started here, and I
appreciate it.

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

You know if you ever need anything,
you can ask me, right?

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

Say, I hear they discovered water
on whichever planet you’re circling
at the moment.

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping. Jack grins and zips up a BANK BAG, closes the register. He turns, leans into the large window looking into the kitchen, and yells.

JACK (CONT.)

You got this, Benny? I’m gonna do
the drop!

BENNY (O.S.)

I got it! Sorry I was late today.

JACK

Hey, first time for everything.
Night!

Jack grabs his stuff and leaves, squeezing Izzie’s shoulder on the way past. We stay on Izzie as we hear the door CLOSE and LATCH. Izzie looks up and WATCHES, intently, until we hear a car drive off.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

The kitchen is spotless, gleaming. A middle-aged man, BENNY, is WASHING DISHES in the huge sink. His sleeves are rolled up and he has a bowtie on under his apron. There’s a lot of history in his face, but he looks like a nice old guy. There’s a hint of Jersey that comes out in his voice sometimes. The music is coming from a RADIO on a shelf. There are a few more stacks of dishes waiting, and a large drying rack nearby, half-full.

Izzie comes in, without the broom but carrying a BACKPACK, and leans against a counter across the room.

BENNY
(without looking around)

Hey, Izzie. You know what song this
is?

No answer.

BENNY (CONT.)

Me neither. I don’t know the names
of any of this crap, Brahms-toven,
Mo-chairsky, whatever, but I like
it. It’s soothing.

Izzie just watches him.

BENNY (CONT.)

What’s up? You need help with
something?

There’s a pause just long enough to be uncomfortable. Then:

IZZIE

I want to learn from you.

BENNY
(chuckling)

This ain’t rocket science, kid. You
want my secrets? Put some baking
soda in the water to cut the
grease, and sometimes you got to
use your thumbnail to get the stuck
stuff. There, now you can buy a
sponge, go into business for
yourself.

CLOSE ON: Benny’s hands. He’s wiping down a LARGE KNIFE.

IZZIE (O.S.)

I want you to teach me how to kill
people.

Benny’s hands stop moving. He just holds the knife. Then he carefully dries it and sets it aside.

ANGLE ON: Both men, but we can clearly see Benny’s face and he looks honestly confused.

BENNY

Excuse me?

IZZIE

I know what you do. What you used
to do, I mean. I want to learn.

BENNY

Kid, I wash dishes in a two-bit
diner in Florida. What am I
supposed to teach you, how to kill
a guy with a lunch special?

IZZIE

I Googled you. I had this homework
assignment on organized crime,
right? There was this picture of a
bunch of made guys from the 80s and
I thought, no fucking way, but I
started checking you out and turns
out you ain’t got no past, Mr.
Benny Kolbeck.

He reaches into his pack and pulls out a handful of papers and newspaper clippings.

IZZIE (CONT.)

But your life picks up right when
Nickolas "Bullet" Brancato’s stops.
Looks just like you, man. Although
you sure don’t look like no killer.

Izzie HOLDS out the papers; Benny makes no move to take them.

BENNY

You Googled me?

IZZIE

I Googled you. And if you don’t
teach me, I’ll tell everybody, the
Feds, the whole world.

Benny, a tired old man, shakes his head and goes back to washing dishes. Izzie comes over to stand next to him, dropping his PAPERS on the counter away from them.

BENNY

Since you and Mr. Google seem to
have gone cuckoo, lemme ask you
this. Why do you want to be a
killer?

IZZIE

I’m in this group…

BENNY

Gotcha.

IZZIE

Just a buncha guys, we hang out.

BENNY

You’re in a gang, I got it. That
where you got hit?

IZZIE

It’s not a gang!

BENNY

It got a name?

IZZIE

Yeah, we’re the–

BENNY

Then it’s a gang. Here, learn how
to do something useful.

Benny hands Izzie a BOWL to dry. Izzie takes it, reacts (it’s hot!), then grabs a towel and starts awkwardly rubbing the bowl. Benny continues washing, adding dishes to the water as needed.

IZZIE

Whatever. The point is… I’m at
the bottom. I’m the one got to run
around, get the food, run the
errands, pay for shit. None of them
are tougher than me, but there I
am, right?

BENNY

And they’ll respect you if you can
kill people?

IZZIE

Hell yeah. Wouldn’t you?

BENNY

No. Fear, maybe. Not respect.

IZZIE

I’ll take fear. Fear means you
don’t get sent for pizza.

BENNY

Well, that’s certainly enough
reason to murder complete strangers
in cold blood. What’s "Izzie" stand
for, anyway?

IZZIE
(taken aback, maybe a little
embarassed)

Isamu. Means "courageous."

BENNY

Courageous. You want courageous.
Isamu, there is nothing more
cowardly than a hitman.

IZZIE

Stop shittin’ me, old man. You
kill, you got it all, don’t take
shit from nobody. Anybody bother
you–

(blows someone away with a
pretend gun held sideways,
movie-style)

BLAM! That’s it, lights out,
straighten your tie and go back to
banging supermodels on a pile of
money.

BENNY

That how it works in the video
games?

IZZIE

That’s how it works in the real,
man. Assassins are cool. You don’t
know shit.

BENNY

Thought I was one?

IZZIE
(stops rubbing the bowl)

Were you?

Benny takes the bowl from him, holds it up. Water DRIPS out of the bowl Izzie’s been drying all this time. Benny gives him a disgusted look and goes back to washing, but not as quickly now.

BENNY

I knew a hitman once. Back up
north. He was good. I mean, scary
good.

IZZIE

Yeah!

BENNY

Usually you’re a boss, you just get
some interchangeable hired goons
and you use them up and go get
more. There’s always another damn
fool idiot thinks shooting people
is cool.

The dig goes right over Izzie’s head. He’s in heaven; this is what he came for.

BENNY (CONT.)

But sometimes you needed someone
taken out that was protected, or
hard to get to, or too tough for
your regular guys. Or maybe you
just wanted to send a message. Then
you’d call this guy. He might take
the job, he might not. But if he
did, your problem was gone.
Sometimes everyone in your
problem’s apartment building was
gone, too.

IZZIE
(spinning around, delighted)

That’s what I’m talking about! And
he loved it!

BENNY

No, he didn’t.

IZZIE

Come on, he had to–

Benny looks at Izzie.

BENNY

He didn’t love anything. Or hate
anything. Or anyone. Ever. You had
more emotional investment in
picking out socks this morning than
he ever had shooting someone. Men,
women, children, babies, puppies,
didn’t matter. He got hired once to
kill the woman he was dating at the
time and he didn’t blink an eye.

Benny goes back to scrubbing.

BENNY (CONT.)

When you start out killing people,
you tell yourself that they deserve
it somehow, or maybe they’re not
really as human as you. Soldiers do
that with the enemy, call them
"Charlie" or "ragheads" or whatever
they need to so they don’t have to
think about shooting at people.

(looks at Izzie)

I guess you’d be a gook.

IZZIE

Whatever, man. Guy was a stone
killer, that’s what you gotta do.

BENNY

He never had to do that. There was
nothing inside him. People were
always just things to him, and
annoying things at that. You got
family?

IZZIE

Yeah, I got… a dad, you know.
Mom’s dead. No brothers or sisters.

BENNY

So kiss your dad tonight, cuz if
anyone gets mad at you they’ll go
after him.

IZZIE

Shit. They’ll have to get in line
behind me, man.

Benny eyes Izzie’s bruise and nods. He loads the last stack in the sink. He also starts handing wet dishes and pots to Izzie, who absent-mindedly starts drying them.

BENNY (CONT.)

When you’re a killer, you can’t
trust anybody. Everyone around you
is a potential target or a
potential threat, and you make sure
you learn all you can about all of
them, just in case. You don’t let
anyone close because that’s where
you’ll be weak and you can’t let
that happen because you’re a
coward.

IZZIE

What’s with the coward shit? Guy
was badass!

BENNY

It ain’t brave to shoot somebody
from hiding, from across the
street, or when they’re sleeping.
Soldiers are brave. Firemen are
brave. Hell, teachers are braver
than hitmen, and they probably get
shot more. Hitmen are gutless.

IZZIE

Even your boy, there?

BENNY

Especially him. It takes a lotta
courage to let yourself be
vulnerable sometimes, and that’s
the one thing he would never do.

They wash for a moment.

IZZIE

So what happened? You’re telling me
for a reason, right? What have we
learned from all this?

BENNY

He got a job to whack some
dignitary, I forget the name. He
gets in the guy’s bedroom and does
the deed, no problem, and he’s
leaving when this chick steps out.
Young, beautiful, holding a baby.
And she sees him and she knows
she’s a witness. And she doesn’t
freak out. She stays calm and says
’Let me put him in his room and
shut the door, and I won’t scream.’

And for some reason, he lets her.

And they go in the hall, and she’s
got tears rolling down her face,
and she says ’Do what you need to,
just please, let my baby live.’

IZZIE

Damn. Lady had some balls.

BENNY

You got to understand, this guy
didn’t see a lot of self-sacrifice
in his social circles. Guys might
jump in the way of a bullet in the
heat of the moment, before they
thought about what they were doing.
But here’s this chick perfectly
calmly offering her life.

IZZIE

What did he do?

BENNY

Oh, he shot her. But it bothered
him, after. None of the others had
ever bothered him. And it nagged at
him. Something had meant more to
her than her own life, and he
couldn’t understand that.

All the dishes done, Benny starts tidying up. Izzie glances over; the top newspaper clipping on his stack is headlined "AMBASSADOR, WIFE SLAIN."

BENNY (CONT.)

And he started thinking back about
all the others. For the first time,
he thought about what happened
after he did a job. He ruined the
lives of entire families with one
shot, and then walked out without
caring what happened next. He
realized, basically, that he was a
cowardly, selfish prick. So he left
to go think about things.
Consequences. Humanity. Whether or
not hitmen have souls. How to open
up and care about people. How to
enjoy music.

Benny turns off the RADIO.

BENNY

How to be vulnerable.

IZZIE

You think he became a dishwasher?

BENNY
(chuckling)

I doubt it, the pay’s crap. But you
never know. You can get a lot of
thinking done, washing dishes. And
bit by bit, you’re making the world
a better place.

CUT TO:

EXT. DINER – NIGHT

They emerge in the alley behind the diner. Benny locks up.

IZZIE

It’s a beautiful story, they should
tell it at Christmas. But it don’t
help me.

BENNY

You want a moral? You want to fix
your life, do it yourself. Don’t
make other people suffer for it.

IZZIE

You don’t know nothing about my
life, "Benny"!

Benny looks at him and his expression is suddenly cold, hard, scary as hell. For the first time, Izzie is afraid of him. So are we. This is a man who can kill.

BENNY

I know a little. I know your mom’s
alive and lives in Fort Lauderdale.
I know you got two sisters and a
brother, and I know where they go
to school and I know when. And I
know what your dad does to you when
he drinks. Didn’t even have to
Google it.

IZZIE

You leave them alone, goddamit!

Benny’s expression relaxes back to that of a harmless old man.

BENNY

Sorry, habit. But you been coming
to work with a lot of bruises
lately, so I had a little chat with
your dad today while you were in
school.

IZZIE
(suddenly terrified)

Is he…?

BENNY

Never touched him. I might have
scared him a little, you know, by
accident. Can’t have our janitor
coming in beat up all the time.
Nice that you still care about him,
though, don’t you think?

IZZIE

Jack don’t care you take long
lunches to go threaten people?

BENNY

Jack doesn’t own this place, Iz.

IZZIE

Then who… oh.

BENNY
(smiling)

A real owner probably would have
bought an electric dishwasher by
now. But I get by, and I watch over
my people. You’re my family. By the
way, I think Karen likes you.

IZZIE

Really? Did she… Wait!

(panicking again)

I know your secret! I could put you
away! What are you gonna do to me?

Benny takes in a deep, joyful breath of night air and looks around, beaming.

BENNY

I’m going to do the bravest thing
I’ve ever done in my entire life,
Isamu.

(beat)

I’m going to let you live.

Benny grins at him and walks off, into the night.

BENNY (CONT.)

Night, Izzie. See you tomorrow.
Hey, good luck on your report.

Izzie watches him go as we:

FADE TO BLACK.

Ever since DC announced their upcoming massive do-over, where all their books will stop and start over at #1. 52 books coming out altogether, and there will be changes aplenty.

Superman is losing his red trunks and his wife — because making Spider-Man's marriage go away made so many fans happy over at Marvel — and he'll almost certainly get a new origin, again. Anyone who's ever been a (male) Robin will be out there somewhere in one of the dozen-odd Batman books. Wonder Woman will become… I don't actually know what she is now, come to think of it. Many heroes will change, or be teamed up differently. Everyone gets new uniforms created by Jim Lee, so they'll all be shiny, even the fabric ones. Possibly the most shocking change, Barbara Gordon will become Batgirl again after 20-something years of being the handicapped (and cool) Oracle. And forums and comics shops and Twitter have been on fire with arguments and accusations and praise and proclamations of doom.

My position: Hey, don't look at me. They lost my loyalty years ago the last few times this was tried. Or, rather, they displaced it.

I understand the need for reboots. When you write characters for decades, you get a lot of backstory. You get new writers who want to try different things, even though they violate continuity. You get a drop off of new readers because there's just too much history to understand before the new books make any sense.  But if you start over…

"Crisis on Infinite Earths" was DC's first attempt at full-scale restructuring, and it worked reasonably well, until writers kept sneaking back to use plotlines and characters from before and muddying the whole thing up again. And a few years later they tried again, and again… Both companies also fell in love with the huge summer crossover event, because fans will buy more comics if their favorite characters are pulled into a huge, complicated story arc, right? And sometimes those big events accompanied reboots.

And they lost me. Not completely, I still read comics. But the multiple-reset of characters and story arcs, the regular wiping of histories and the wholesale changes to comic lineups kicked me into a different appreciation of the art. Gradually, I stopped following the characters, and started following the writers.

I used to buy every Spider-Man book there was. After he got complicated and reset a few times and I had to keep track of which of my favorite Spidey stories now actually happened in whatever current reality he was in, I realized what I really liked was not any story about a web-slinging wiseass, but a good story about a web-slinging wiseass.  Ditto Hulk, ditto Batman, ditto all the zillions of other comics I read. And the range of good writers is much, much smaller than the number of books I used to buy. Why waste my time reading a mediocre book just because I like the hero? I'm not missing anything; any major plot points will be retconned away in a few years anyway. But I know if I pick up a book by Peter David or Mark Waid or Warren Ellis or a dozen others I know I'll enjoy it no matter who's on the cover.

I've also found myself, over the last decade, preferring creator-owned comics or comics with defined story arcs with endings (Terry Moore's "Echo," Brian K. Vaughn's "Y the Last Man," etc) because I get a complete story with a single vision and an ending.

Which sounds like a good attitude, but it doesn't help DC because now that I follow writers, I follow them everywhere. And sometimes they write for other companies…

So keep playing with your universe, DC (and Marvel). I hope it works for you, I have nothing against reboots — they worked wonders for Doctor Who and Star Trek — but I'll just follow Gail Simone to whatever book she's on now and give most of the rest a miss. Have fun! See ya next reboot!