Thanks to maru1221, I (and everyone else) can now see my wife Teresa at the Bon Jovi concert at the TD BankNorth Garden arena, July 10. She keeps a camera in front of her face during her screentime, but if you look closely, starting around 1:46,  you can see her trying to focus past Richie Sambora (12 feet away from her) to get a better picture of Jon (way the hell across the stage). She does have her preferences, my Teresa. Also, that piercing fangirl scream? That's her.

Click here to hear it!

This is Chris Bridges with the Daytona Beach News-Journal, and I’m talking with Joss Whedon, creator of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Angel,” the show “Firefly,” the movie “Serenity,” the upcoming FOX show “Dollhouse,” and now an original online musical mini-series, “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.” Thank you for talking to me.

Thanks for having me.

Go ahead and give me the elevator pitch for “Dr. Horrible.”

There’s an elevator pitch?

I hope so.

I’ve never heard that phrase. Basically it’s your typical Internet musical about a super villain who’s trying to make his bones in the super villain community and get some respect, and maybe even work up the nerve to talk to the girl at the Laundromat.

So, like every other Internet serial musical.

Yeah, you know, I mean it’s a tired genre but I thought I could wring a few bucks out of it before it dies.

How did this get started? What made you decide to go straight to the Internet?

You know, there’s been a lot of talk about that during the (writers) strike, I’ve been interested in doing things that were smaller, lower budget, more filled with my friends, and sillier than I’m allowed to do in the normal course of Hollywood, so I decided I’d just fund a little something myself. It kind of ballooned, in terms of the amount of talent that we were able to attract, but it’s been true to its tiny roots of “Let’s just put on a show.”

A “my dad has a barn” sort of feeling.

You know, when I was a kid, he did. And we put on shows.

How did you choose the cast? Does Nathan Fillion have pictures of you, or–

You know, you’re not the first person to ask that so I’m beginning to wonder. After I passed out, what happened…?

You know, who wouldn’t cast Nathan Fillion in absolutely everything. I mean, he can play the hero, he can play the idiot, he can play the ingénue, he can play the ficus and be the most interesting thing in the room. He’s amazing. And you know he’s a dear, smart, centered guy, so that’s a no-brainer. And he’s so great as that character, you know. It very much reflects some of his own humor that the moment he signed on Zack and I were writing a bunch of his scenes, we raced to our typewriters. No, we use computers, we’re not that old.

But you know, Neil was… I wasn’t as sure Neil would be interested in it and he said yes faster than I had the question out. But he’s, you know. Just incre.. I’ve seen him do everything, including, you know, sing on Broadway, so I knew he had the chops. He still brought more to it than I even imagined he could. And Felicia, you know, has been a friend since she was on “Buffy.” Her show “The Guild” has been kind of an inspiration for this and I suspected she had some singing pipes as well and she also blew me away. The first time she and Neil sang together, I may have cried a little.

Will there be a soundtrack?

Yes there will! Although I’m not positive when.

Making it up as we go along?

There is no truer statement of this entire endeavor than that.

Has it been more… I’m not sure “relaxing” is the right word, but has there been a different feel to it because you’re totally in control of everything?

Yeah, you know, “relaxing” is definitely not the right word? Because being in control of everything means being responsible for everything, including signing all the checks. You definitely learn, oh, this is really complicated. I understand why it’s so hard to settle contracts of studios and things. But… And I got very nervous, before we had line producers on, I just thought “This is never going to happen!” But the flip side, the creative side, yeah, it is like a warm bath. It’s just the sweetest, the most delightful, relaxing thing, just in terms of “This is just us, this is what we want to do with our time. Everybody is having the time of their lives.” That’s something that’s hard to capture.

What time will the episodes be posted?

We’re planning to post them pretty much at 12:01 in the morning.

Are you ready for the entire Internet to land on you?

You know, if we don’t crash it, we’ve failed.

No, we only have the bandwidth to support 17 viewers at a time.

No, none of those things are true, we do hope that a lot of people will show up, ‘cause we think it’s kind of an event. But we’re also prepared for the numbers to be even smaller than anybody thought, for everyone to go “awwww.” Because, you know, you have to be prepared for that and the great thing about it is I don’t have anybody worrying about it. We don’t have anybody we’re beholden to, to be like “You failed us! We loved the musical.” We think the people who see it will love it as well, and how many people see it, well, that’s not really up to us.

You have a knack for attracting obsessive fans. What do you think they see in your work?

An obsessive fan…

This is an obsessive fan asking that.

Yes, I am one, too. That’s what I am, that’s what I grew up as. The things I love, I love very hard. And that’s the kind of… and it’s usually genre stuff, which also attracts that type. You know, the world of imagination; when people enter any world that’s not our own they’re working in a different way than if it’s just a straight drama, no matter how great. It could be the “West Wing,” it’s great but there’s a different level when you add an element of fantasy. Particularly when you add song. It allows people to lose themselves, and [in an exaggerated arch voice] “find themselves.”

Yes, I am a new-age calendar. But I’m not wrong.

Your fans are also the type to know the ins and outs of the Internet and how to grab videos before you’re ready for them to. Are you concerned about the likelihood of piracy?

They got the teaser before we were ready for it. You know, we sort of, the inevitability of some piracy is something we’re prepared for. We also know that true fans do tend to, you know, if something is, you know, available to buy and the buying of is part of being in the community because it supports the people who have created it, you know, i.e. letting us pay our crew, it’s, you know, you take the one with the other.

I mean, we’re giving this thing up for free on the Internet for a week because we want to give the fans something that they can just have. But we want to make it an event that goes away, so that it feels more special.

Has there been any reaction from studio execs that you still work with, about the kind of end run around the industry?

All the response from everybody involved with the studios has been positive. Has been interest in, do you want to develop this in another way, do you want to partner in this kind of distribution, there’s… nobody said (in crotchety old man voice) “Say, what are you kids doing?” and tried to chase us off like a cop in “The Little Rascals.” So—

Well, they’re also interested in seeing if it works so they can try it.

Yeah, I mean, nobody’s out to… this isn’t a zero-sum equation. Everybody can win here, you know, and if it wasn’t for some of those studio people I would never have been able to make this. Andrew Finneday, the Universal executive who let us have the lot for a song, for a day, you know, who are the people in the industry that I deal with, they’re people, they’re a part of the community. The guys at the very tippy-top that I pretty much never see, they have a different agenda but they also can see this as “Well, why don’t we let them jump in the pool and we can find out if it’s too cold that way?”

So, again nobody loses. Nobody’s cranky about this. That I know of. Maybe the Grinch, who doesn’t love Christmas at all, is up on his hill going, “Oh, the noise noise noise noise,” but I don’t know him.

If everything came true the way you wanted it to be, what would you like to see happen because of “Dr. Horrible”?

I would like to be a gagillionaire.

I would like to see more of this kind of content, I would like to make, but even if I can’t I’d like to see more people sort of stepping up between the home-made and the studio-made and putting things on the Internet that are truly strange and personal and yet accessible to as many people as possible. I’d like the Internet to be a viable economic framework for a sort of, a world of “B” pictures. A new, strange, surreal “B” studio, the kind they don’t have anymore. That’s what I’d like to see.

And I’d like to run it.

Teresa has decided to become a full-time groupie.

Not just the type who gushes about her band online, pins posters around her room and writes "Mrs. Bon Jovi" on her notebooks, although she does that too (not the Mrs. part, she said she has no interest in leaving our marriage or breaking his; I believe she has in mind more of a sophisticated arrangement, like a time-share). No, she plans to be the one who follows her band, concert to concert, city to city, country to country, becoming friends and confidant to the road crew. The fact that we're broke has no bearing on this. You can't deny your calling. She has already begun looking into which countries allow you to sell your children.

Yesterday, on an extended and carefully planned last minute whim, she flew to Boston to see Bon Jovi in concert. She's even now in the air on her way back, possibly without waiting for the plane. With her are the well-wishes, advice, and (in some cases) open envy of the other ladies on the Bon Jovi forum she frequents. They have kept up on her doings from other forum members at the concert who are calling in song-by-song updates, and from me, as I've been hearing from Teresa and posting on her behalf with her account. (I am, apparently, "Mr. Teresa.")

Here's the last recap I posted.

OK, Teres made it back to the motel all right. She's still breathless and trying to absorb it all, and I'm sure she'll go into a lot more detail for you when she's back, but here's some highlights:

Jon was awesome.
The rest of the band was good, too.
She did, in fact, get to see him pretty clearly.
Her pictures didn't come out, though, and the one time he came out to her area to sing she's afraid she took too much time trying to take pictures and didn't spend enough time just gazing at him.
No luck with the binoculars; she tried 'em during the opening act and couldn't see through them so she gave up.
Jon was awesome.
The lady next to her kept getting beer – a lot of it – and then would spill most of it dancing around. When she left to get more, that's when Jon came over to sing. The person with her told Teres "Oh, she's gonna kill me."
Jon and the band walked under Teres, twice. Yes, she was on top of Jon Bon Jovi twice in one night, and she won't be forgetting THAT any time soon.
She's not sure that Richie got a cake (Guitarist Richie Sambora's 49th birthday is today), she thought it might have been a pyramid of champagne glasses with candles in it. Not sure.
Jon can't sing "Happy Birthday." He might have been singing it badly on purpose, but it's just weird.
She tried using the video recorder on the camera to record a few songs, figured she could get the audio even if the picture didn't come out. Got a few, then they started doing the acoustic encores and that's when the memory card filled up.
Jon was awesome.
She did get a recording of Jon saying he wanted to hear her scream. She wants that for a ringtone now.
Actually she's pretty sure the only thing she recorded was herself, screaming. A lot. Not with the music, either. Just all out fangirl screaming. Her throat is sore.
She thinks the crowd was especially rowdy. The band did the two encores, came out and held hands and bowed, and the audience kept screaming. The band huddled together, and then played one more song (a cover). Lisa (another forum member who met her there) said they never do this.
Teres kept walking into people coming out of the concert. Not just absentmindedly. Hard. Then she would apologize and walk away and do it to someone else.
She's afraid to go to sleep now because she'll forget everything. I assured it it would be stuck in her brain forever.
She will be in front of him next time. Not sure yet how she'll manage that, but she will. Oh, yes.
Did she mention Jon was awesome?

When I mention this to friends at work or online, I invariably get the same reaction: arched eyebrow (or smiley of same) and "Bon Jovi? Whatever, I guess." Apparently my friends are not part of the 120 million people who have bought Bon Jovi albums and CDs over the last 25 years, or who pushed his latest one ("Lost Highway") to the top of the charts worldwide. I like him, although I don't plan to follow his tour or work my way up the side of his apartment building in Manhattan on a window washer rig (Teresa at my side, with burlap sack and ether) any time soon.

Even if I didn't, I certainly can't talk. Most of my office area at home (and a fair amount at work) is taken up with Joss Whedon-related items, and I took off for LA last December on a trip I could ill afford just to march with him and his friends in the writers strike. I understand obsession. I may not be at the "I <3 Joss" notebook cover stage but that could just be because I haven't yet seen "Dr. Horrible" yet so it can't be ruled out.

She went, she saw, and now her casual obsession may turn into a career. Obsessions are like that.

This tour is almost over for Bon Jovi, so at least for awhile following the band won't be too difficult. Mostly moving from room to room I expect, and saying "woo!" occasionally. So she can ease into it.

What? No, not the Rolex 24. I’ll be over at FX Show 2008, the science fiction/horror convention in Orlando, where my inner geek can breathe freely. (My inner geek looks exactly like my outer geek, but with more movie tie-in buttons.)

Science-fiction conventions or "cons" are not just for social outcasts or dangerously introverted 37-year-old bachelors, of course. That's just a cliche perpetuated by people who have gone to a convention. It’s very much like a trade show when the trade in question is imagination, and scantily clad alien girls. It’s a place where fans of TV, movies, books, and comics can gather together with the people who create them, along with a massive roomful of fellow fans who share their interests and are ready to violently argue about them in an entertaining manner.

If you've never been to a con, here's a quick rundown of what you can expect.

Before you go

Plan your packing. Some fans will go unencumbered, the better to move about without stress. But most fans will want to take items to be signed, or water bottles, or some food so they can avoid the dreaded, wallet-draining food court, or some cool thing they made that they absolutely have to show to their favorite actor to establish their position as Your Absolute Number One Fan, and yes, that’s just as creepy as it sounds. FX attracts thousands of people every year and all of them are going to want to get right in your way so dress and pack accordingly.

Get there early. Parking fills up quickly, which means you’ll need to use one of the parking garages near I-4, which means you get to pay for the privilege of riding in a bus next to some kid dressed as Optimus Prime. Also, the lines to check in, even if you’ve prepaid for your ticket, stretch long enough that you start to suspect after the first half hour that there’s a Red Cross station at the end. Get there early.

Once you arrive, get your bearings. Find out where the bathrooms are, reconnoiter the autograph section and plan your assault, figure out early on which dealer booths you’ll want to hit. If you have friends with you, establish meeting places in case you split up and get chased by Scooby Doo villains, which is actually possible here. Do not assume you’ll be able to hear your cell phone, or someone screaming at you from more than three feet away. Once you feel comfortable and ready, it’s time to meet:

The Guests

Most cons feature at least one recognizable media star, keeping in mind the very relative definitions of "recognizable," "media," and "star." Most cons get the "also starring" ranks of actors, your Stephen Fursts, your Walter Koenigs, your "third Stormtrooper from the left in the cloud city scene from Jedi, and at least one original Lost in Space cast member as required by federal law. These are the actors who need extra income or intense hero worship, or both. Fortunately FX is notable for getting a cubic dumpload of top tier stars every year, along with the lesser known actors who nevertheless have a devoted cult following.

This year FX plays host to Nathan Fillion (Firefly); Greg Grunberg, Stephen Tobolowsky and George Takei (Heroes); Brad Beyer (Jericho); Nicholas Brendon (Buffy); Laura Vandervoort and Helen Slater (Smallville); Jake Lloyd, Ray Park and Orli Shoshan (Star Wars) and many more, including personal favorites Adam West (Batman, and half the cartoons on TV today); Elisabeth Rohm (Angel), Ellen Muth (Dead Like Me), Jeremy London (T.S. from Mallrats), Marilyn Ghigliotti (Veronica from Clerks), and William B. Davis (The Smoking Man from X-Files).

Also lots of voice actors, a couple of Power Rangers, three different women who, at one time, Apparently Wanted To Be a Superhero, Erik Estrada for some reason, the guy who did funny sounds in the Police Academy movies, and the Soup Nazi. On the creators’ side, there’s fantasy artist Brom, comics people Brian Azzarello, Jill Thompson, and Brian Wood, and about 30 others of varying degrees of fame.

FX handles their autograph lines by handing out tickets for scheduled signings, so you won’t have to wait three hours to get Captain Mal’s signature on your whatever. There will be photos available, because celebrities know you want a memento of this day, which they will happily sign for $20 or so a pop, because celebrities need to eat. Smart fans have their books and comics open, their pictures ready, and their posters unfurled to speed things up. Smarter fans with oddly-spelled names will stick Post-It notes on the items to avoid the “No, no, it’s Wilhumeena, with a ‘u,’ like unicorn, you know?” scenes that always end in heartbreak.

While the star is signing you’re welcome to take that moment to gush, compliment, rave, or just thank the star for whatever it is he or she does. It helps to know for sure what that is ahead of time (important safety tip!). Try to avoid complimenting the star on his or her recent rehab visit, currently tanking movie, or publicly disastrous relationship. Some stars will pose for candid photos, but always ask, especially if they’re in the bathroom at the time.

Costumes

Many fans show up just for the chance to wear their homemade Cylon costume in public without getting Baker-acted. There's a wonderfully liberating freedom that comes with living out a fantasy, and there's an equally liberating freedom that comes with watching someone else do it. This is most noticeably evident during the costume contest, which will have lots of earnest contestants but will be won by either a) the costume that cost the most to make, or b) the woman with the largest breasts.

If you want to dress up but don't want to be turned away at a good restaurant later, wear pointy ears, the blue jeans of the fan world. They're subtle, easy to hide or remove, and suddenly you're an elf, Yoda, a hobbit, a Vulcan, a fairy, or whatever meets your immediate needs.

Dealers room

Looking for that rare, hard-to-find collectible? It's here, somewhere, for almost exactly twice what you're willing to spend. You can find autographed pictures (real and fake), toys and posters and videos and books of all sorts, and the largest collection of bootleg DVDs outside of Taiwan. Don't go in there unless you've placed a hold on your credit card and you have enough money to get home stashed in your shoe.

Everything else

There's also live role-playing (like war games, but with plastic swords and laser water pistols), filking (singing fantasy or science-fiction parody lyrics to familiar tunes), discussion panels (where fans can hear professionals obsess for a change), nonstop cult movie watching, art shows, and a whole lot more. Everything that has some bearing on science fiction that can be done in public is here, somewhere, and it’s all aimed at pleasing you. It's an experience that shouldn't be missed.

Not sure if you'll fit in? Here's a quick test:

If you stopped while reading this column and muttered, Idiot, the cloud city scene was in Empire, I'll meet you in the Dealer's Room. I'll be the one wearing the pointy ears.

—————————————————————–

Get more details at the FX Show Web site.

I'm thinking they should just drop the rest of the show and stick with this, maybe bring on some more gossip mag denizens every week to get tasered. I'd tune in to see Donald Trump and Rosie both go down twitching, wouldn't you? And who hasn't wanted to run voltage through K-Fed? They could hold contests to see who gets to zap Lindsay Lohan (one zap per winner, sorry). Who knows, maybe celebs will cut back on their public drunkenness, public sex life, and public belligerence if they know they'll get tasered because of it.

Nah. "Shock and Woo!" coming soon, to FOX!

"Well, that's it," he posted where previously there had been over 900 Ricci photos. "I've had this Christina Ricci fan page for almost 8 years (since januari 1999), but I recently found out Christina doesn't appear to have a problem wearing fur. Well, I do. I also have a problem with people who wear fur. Conclusion: I have a problem with Christina. And now that problem is solved, because I don't have a website about her anymore, so I no longer have anything to do with her."

Initially her rep dismissed this — those whacky fans! — but the popularity of that page (second in most searches for "Christina Ricci") made have had something to do with Ricci's subsequent reversal. Ricci e-mailed PETA with an apology and a promise to do better, and they took her off the list.

Hooray for Christina's new peer-pressured awareness, and let's hope other famous clothes-wearers follow suit, as it were. Picking on defenseless yet fabulous animals is just not cool, apparently. But the stars need something expensive, trendy, and attention-getting to wear and I have the perfect suggestion: celebrity pelts.

I'm not saying we should declare open season on celebrities. Not at this junction. But why not let the annoying party-girl feuds progress out of the scandal rags and into the next level? I really don't care if Britney threw a drink at Christina or Lindsey is not talking to HIllary. But it would make some serious headlines if Nicole stepped out of her limo flashing, among other things, an original Paris Hilton wrap — complete with hair and vacant eyes — and a smug smile. You know Jessica has fantasized about an authentic Nick Lachey skin for her living room floor, I say go for it. These are people who have spent hours a day and thousands of dollars to get perfect skin and lustrous hair, so it's got to feel great. And, for the most part, the loss of your average C-list celebrity would have less of a negative impact on the world than the loss of, say, a few dozen rabbits or baby harp seals.

The only downside I can see is the potential market for cheap knockoffs. Celebrity impersonators would find themselves hunted to extinction for the Asian market, the number of magazine cover models would become dangerously low, and unscrupulous dealers would start celebrity factory farms where attractive, caged men and women were forced into cruel and heartless skin-care regimens.

And worst of all, PETA would have to start a new campaign.

And before you chastise me over the title, understand that I may be the only living person who liked his Popeye. Sure, Gosford Park was a huge success and Prairie Home Companion got plenty of accolades. And M*A*S*H was groundbreaking, of course, but you almost have to like that one or the other film students look at you funny. Altman had one of the most all-over-the-map careers of any director, he was known for sticking to his principles, and big name stars would fight to get in his movies. To me, he was the guy who stuck Robin Williams on the big screen with huge forearms and who knew at a glance that Shelly Duvall was born to play Olive Oyl, or possible a pipe cleaner.

But then, at least other people saw Popeye. If you want to get into really obscure, underappreciated Altman movies you'll need to go get O.C. and Stigg…

Imagine my surprise when I found out the person making fun of the horrific events in O.J.'s life was, in fact, O.J.. I'm guessing country club memberships aren't cheap because he's come out with a new book and two-part TV interview called, and this is the actual title, "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened." Please note that this is not Tim Meadows doing his O.J. impersonation. It's not a tasteless fan parody from YouTube. It's a real, tasteless exhibition by a man declared not guilty of a crime who is now going to explain… what? How he didn't do it, but here's exactly how he didn't do it? Is this the confession we only get after he can't be punished? Was he overcome with the need to brag? Did he lose a bar bet?

The interview, you'll be shocked, shocked to hear, will be on FOX.

I'm sure the families of the deceased and all those people who stood by him during the long trial will appreciate his new and profitable candor. But if he needed money, couldn't he have done something less tacky, like release a Nicole Simpson sex tape? Something with some dignity?

But last night, as some friends and family gathered around to watch "Entourage" DVDs and talk about celebrity hangers-on, it was wondered aloud how K-Fed would continue to thrive after being dumped by his meal ticket. I said, only half-joking, that the sex tape sales alone would keep him going. We laughed, and I came into work this morning to see the news.

There is such a tape, according to reports, and he's rumored to be offering it to Brit herself for a pile of money and full custody of the kids. (Here's a link, but there are dozens to choose from) Once we get past the fact that divorce court judges rarely look kindly on extortion, we're left with this simple truth: K-Fed still has farther to sink. Scary thought, isn't it?

OK, so either she'll buy him out or it'll go on sale or a settlement will be reached or it'll leak out anyway, and whatever her manager thinks it's not likely the widespread distribution of Britney's gyrations probably won't affect her career much at this point. More than likely it'll make a ton of money, add a new level to the Britney jokes, and make K-Fed even more reviled than he is now. It might even cause a britney revival; it worked for Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson. And I think stars should factor this sort of thing in their career arcs.

Before that little red light ever comes on you better make sure you have all the ancillary rights and a piece of the back end. You might want to get in a stylist and makeup artist, too, don't want your porn to look tacky. Do something with the lighting, that yellow wall look is so 80's. And watch those camera angles! Remember, people will be screen-capturing you for the next 10 years, you need to look your best. If you can, hang up a poster of your next movie, TV show, or CD over the bed. Hey, can't hurt, and embedded advertising is all the rage these days.

I hope this passes and she comes out OK with whatever results. But even if the rumored tape becomes available, I think I'll pass. I've seen K-Fed perform on stage, I wasn't impressed.

Call me when she does a tape with Pamela Anderson.

She filed for divorce in Los Angeles County Superior Court citing "irreconcible differences" which, coindentally enough, is the reason I myself give for why I have don't follow her personal or professional life.