The answers, for those who care to know and didn't blurt them out involuntarily upon hearing them, are:

1. What does River think she is holding when she finds a gun on the cargo bay floor?

A branch or stick. Some folks got more specific, explaining the scene and even naming the type of tree. Good on all of you.

2. In which of the Serenity graphic novels published by Dark Horse does Badger make an appearance?

"Serenity – Those Left Behind"

3. What two words did Tim Minear say to Joss Whedon that ultimately inspired Whedon to write the episode "Objects in Space"?

Boba Fett. Several different spellings. Many entrants also took pains to explain that Minear pronounced it wrong.

Many thanks to everyone who entered. If you didn't win, please consider picking up  "The Big Damn Firefly and Serenity Trivia Book" anyway (read my review here).

One, I noticed how long it's been since I did a SerenityStuff-type review or gave anything away. And two, Kris Barton contacted me and said he had a signed copy of his new book, The Big Damn Firefly and Serenity Trivia Book, available for such a thing if I was interested.

OK, they didn't happen in that order. But it still means you've got a shot at winning, and all you'll need is an insane knowledge of big damn trivia. Fortunately, that covers most of my readership. Let's look at what you're playing for.

It would be relatively easy to whomp up a list of trivia questions about the 'verse. Only 14 TV episodes and a movie, just skim through the scripts, read a few interviews and start primping for your author photo. But, like the Browncoat he is, Barton had to do it the tough way.

For one thing, he assumed most of the people buying the book already knew the easy stuff, and he wanted to make it challenging. But he also wanted to bring out some of the joy of the show itself. "The cast and crew went to great lengths to ensure that the fans would truly enjoy learning about these characters and the process involved with bringing them to life," he says in his forward.  So many of the questions aren't so much the gotcha kind of obscure factoids as they are "hey, did you know this cool thing?"

There's also a bit more in the book than just questions. The intro by "Jaynestown" director Marita Grabiak adds some more insider info about that episode I had never heard before, with some descriptions of the ingenious solutions they came up with to meet their location and budget restrictions. Each chapter begins with the bio of one of the main actors, Joss Whedon and Tim Minear.

The questions themselves — all 1,050 of them — are split up into logical chapters such as Places in the 'Verse, Time, Weapons, Episodes, Behind the Scenes, etc. They're from the episodes and the movie, sure, but they're also pulled from the comics, the DVD commentaries, Titan's companion books, and other sources. There are technical questions, questions about the inspirations for the show, and questions about the broadcasts. There are even questions about the fan movements and charity works.  I'll admit that some of them stumped me at first and I'm as obsessive a Firefly fan as you're likely to find, but more than a few made me smile and after the first few pages I really wanted to go watch the shows again.

Which, I think, was kinda the idea.

So let's give one away. Below you'll find three questions, chosen at random from the book. Send the answers to cabridges@gmail.com with the subject line "Big Damn Trivia Contest" and I'll draw a winner from the correct responses. Please include your name and a valid email address so I can contact you (your info will not be kept or used for any other purpose). You must have a US or Canada mailing address, or be willing to pay for shipping outside continental North America. One submission per person. You must have correctly answered all three questions to be considered. You've got a week: contest ends at 11:59 p.m. next Wednesday, Feb. 22, 2012. The winner will be announced by midnight Thursday night. If I don't hear back from the winner within 24 hours, another winner will be drawn. No purchase necessary to win. We good?

The prize: A copy of The Big Damn Firefly and Serenity Trivia Book, signed by the author, Kristin M. Barton.

The questions:

1. What does River think she is holding when she finds a gun on the cargo bay floor?

2. In which of the Serenity graphic novels published by Dark Horse does Badger make an appearance?

3. What two words did Tim Minear say to Joss Whedon that ultimately inspired Whedon to write the episode "Objects in Space"?

Good luck, travelers.

Ooookay. Here's what I entered. Results of the first round came back this week and I was one of the 5 in my group that's moving to round 2, so it can't have been too bad.

Wet Work

EXT. DINER – DUSK

The sun is setting on a small, quaint diner on the corner of a city intersection. The sign says "The Diner on 3rd." We move in as two young waitresses walk out, still gathering their things as they go.

KAREN

–am not going out with you. I’ve
been here since 6 in the frickin’
morning! If someone slipped me a
roofie tonight I’d take it just to
get some sleep.

LILA
(taking her arm)

We will indeed go out and terrorize
this town with our hotness and if
need be I will pour shots down your
throat like a baby bird because I
am your friend and I love you.

They pass us. An older man wearing an apron, JACK, steps

into the doorway to watch them get to their cars.

JACK
(yelling)

Don’t listen to her and her evil
ways! I need you back here
tomorrow! Upright!

Jack smiles, shakes his head and FLIPS the OPEN sign to read CLOSED as he steps back inside.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER – NIGHT

The diner was clearly designed by someone who loved the 50s, possibly in a kind of stalky, obsessive way. Jack goes behind the counter and does cash register things. A Japanese-American teenager, IZZIE, is sweeping the floor. Izzie is a surburban kid trying to look street and nearly succeeding. He has a fading bruise on one cheek. Somewhere, CLASSICAL MUSIC is playing softly.

JACK

Hey, Iz. Good night tonight

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

You’ve been doing a hell of a job
since you started here, and I
appreciate it.

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

You know if you ever need anything,
you can ask me, right?

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping.

JACK (CONT.)

Say, I hear they discovered water
on whichever planet you’re circling
at the moment.

Izzie nods, keeps sweeping. Jack grins and zips up a BANK BAG, closes the register. He turns, leans into the large window looking into the kitchen, and yells.

JACK (CONT.)

You got this, Benny? I’m gonna do
the drop!

BENNY (O.S.)

I got it! Sorry I was late today.

JACK

Hey, first time for everything.
Night!

Jack grabs his stuff and leaves, squeezing Izzie’s shoulder on the way past. We stay on Izzie as we hear the door CLOSE and LATCH. Izzie looks up and WATCHES, intently, until we hear a car drive off.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

The kitchen is spotless, gleaming. A middle-aged man, BENNY, is WASHING DISHES in the huge sink. His sleeves are rolled up and he has a bowtie on under his apron. There’s a lot of history in his face, but he looks like a nice old guy. There’s a hint of Jersey that comes out in his voice sometimes. The music is coming from a RADIO on a shelf. There are a few more stacks of dishes waiting, and a large drying rack nearby, half-full.

Izzie comes in, without the broom but carrying a BACKPACK, and leans against a counter across the room.

BENNY
(without looking around)

Hey, Izzie. You know what song this
is?

No answer.

BENNY (CONT.)

Me neither. I don’t know the names
of any of this crap, Brahms-toven,
Mo-chairsky, whatever, but I like
it. It’s soothing.

Izzie just watches him.

BENNY (CONT.)

What’s up? You need help with
something?

There’s a pause just long enough to be uncomfortable. Then:

IZZIE

I want to learn from you.

BENNY
(chuckling)

This ain’t rocket science, kid. You
want my secrets? Put some baking
soda in the water to cut the
grease, and sometimes you got to
use your thumbnail to get the stuck
stuff. There, now you can buy a
sponge, go into business for
yourself.

CLOSE ON: Benny’s hands. He’s wiping down a LARGE KNIFE.

IZZIE (O.S.)

I want you to teach me how to kill
people.

Benny’s hands stop moving. He just holds the knife. Then he carefully dries it and sets it aside.

ANGLE ON: Both men, but we can clearly see Benny’s face and he looks honestly confused.

BENNY

Excuse me?

IZZIE

I know what you do. What you used
to do, I mean. I want to learn.

BENNY

Kid, I wash dishes in a two-bit
diner in Florida. What am I
supposed to teach you, how to kill
a guy with a lunch special?

IZZIE

I Googled you. I had this homework
assignment on organized crime,
right? There was this picture of a
bunch of made guys from the 80s and
I thought, no fucking way, but I
started checking you out and turns
out you ain’t got no past, Mr.
Benny Kolbeck.

He reaches into his pack and pulls out a handful of papers and newspaper clippings.

IZZIE (CONT.)

But your life picks up right when
Nickolas "Bullet" Brancato’s stops.
Looks just like you, man. Although
you sure don’t look like no killer.

Izzie HOLDS out the papers; Benny makes no move to take them.

BENNY

You Googled me?

IZZIE

I Googled you. And if you don’t
teach me, I’ll tell everybody, the
Feds, the whole world.

Benny, a tired old man, shakes his head and goes back to washing dishes. Izzie comes over to stand next to him, dropping his PAPERS on the counter away from them.

BENNY

Since you and Mr. Google seem to
have gone cuckoo, lemme ask you
this. Why do you want to be a
killer?

IZZIE

I’m in this group…

BENNY

Gotcha.

IZZIE

Just a buncha guys, we hang out.

BENNY

You’re in a gang, I got it. That
where you got hit?

IZZIE

It’s not a gang!

BENNY

It got a name?

IZZIE

Yeah, we’re the–

BENNY

Then it’s a gang. Here, learn how
to do something useful.

Benny hands Izzie a BOWL to dry. Izzie takes it, reacts (it’s hot!), then grabs a towel and starts awkwardly rubbing the bowl. Benny continues washing, adding dishes to the water as needed.

IZZIE

Whatever. The point is… I’m at
the bottom. I’m the one got to run
around, get the food, run the
errands, pay for shit. None of them
are tougher than me, but there I
am, right?

BENNY

And they’ll respect you if you can
kill people?

IZZIE

Hell yeah. Wouldn’t you?

BENNY

No. Fear, maybe. Not respect.

IZZIE

I’ll take fear. Fear means you
don’t get sent for pizza.

BENNY

Well, that’s certainly enough
reason to murder complete strangers
in cold blood. What’s "Izzie" stand
for, anyway?

IZZIE
(taken aback, maybe a little
embarassed)

Isamu. Means "courageous."

BENNY

Courageous. You want courageous.
Isamu, there is nothing more
cowardly than a hitman.

IZZIE

Stop shittin’ me, old man. You
kill, you got it all, don’t take
shit from nobody. Anybody bother
you–

(blows someone away with a
pretend gun held sideways,
movie-style)

BLAM! That’s it, lights out,
straighten your tie and go back to
banging supermodels on a pile of
money.

BENNY

That how it works in the video
games?

IZZIE

That’s how it works in the real,
man. Assassins are cool. You don’t
know shit.

BENNY

Thought I was one?

IZZIE
(stops rubbing the bowl)

Were you?

Benny takes the bowl from him, holds it up. Water DRIPS out of the bowl Izzie’s been drying all this time. Benny gives him a disgusted look and goes back to washing, but not as quickly now.

BENNY

I knew a hitman once. Back up
north. He was good. I mean, scary
good.

IZZIE

Yeah!

BENNY

Usually you’re a boss, you just get
some interchangeable hired goons
and you use them up and go get
more. There’s always another damn
fool idiot thinks shooting people
is cool.

The dig goes right over Izzie’s head. He’s in heaven; this is what he came for.

BENNY (CONT.)

But sometimes you needed someone
taken out that was protected, or
hard to get to, or too tough for
your regular guys. Or maybe you
just wanted to send a message. Then
you’d call this guy. He might take
the job, he might not. But if he
did, your problem was gone.
Sometimes everyone in your
problem’s apartment building was
gone, too.

IZZIE
(spinning around, delighted)

That’s what I’m talking about! And
he loved it!

BENNY

No, he didn’t.

IZZIE

Come on, he had to–

Benny looks at Izzie.

BENNY

He didn’t love anything. Or hate
anything. Or anyone. Ever. You had
more emotional investment in
picking out socks this morning than
he ever had shooting someone. Men,
women, children, babies, puppies,
didn’t matter. He got hired once to
kill the woman he was dating at the
time and he didn’t blink an eye.

Benny goes back to scrubbing.

BENNY (CONT.)

When you start out killing people,
you tell yourself that they deserve
it somehow, or maybe they’re not
really as human as you. Soldiers do
that with the enemy, call them
"Charlie" or "ragheads" or whatever
they need to so they don’t have to
think about shooting at people.

(looks at Izzie)

I guess you’d be a gook.

IZZIE

Whatever, man. Guy was a stone
killer, that’s what you gotta do.

BENNY

He never had to do that. There was
nothing inside him. People were
always just things to him, and
annoying things at that. You got
family?

IZZIE

Yeah, I got… a dad, you know.
Mom’s dead. No brothers or sisters.

BENNY

So kiss your dad tonight, cuz if
anyone gets mad at you they’ll go
after him.

IZZIE

Shit. They’ll have to get in line
behind me, man.

Benny eyes Izzie’s bruise and nods. He loads the last stack in the sink. He also starts handing wet dishes and pots to Izzie, who absent-mindedly starts drying them.

BENNY (CONT.)

When you’re a killer, you can’t
trust anybody. Everyone around you
is a potential target or a
potential threat, and you make sure
you learn all you can about all of
them, just in case. You don’t let
anyone close because that’s where
you’ll be weak and you can’t let
that happen because you’re a
coward.

IZZIE

What’s with the coward shit? Guy
was badass!

BENNY

It ain’t brave to shoot somebody
from hiding, from across the
street, or when they’re sleeping.
Soldiers are brave. Firemen are
brave. Hell, teachers are braver
than hitmen, and they probably get
shot more. Hitmen are gutless.

IZZIE

Even your boy, there?

BENNY

Especially him. It takes a lotta
courage to let yourself be
vulnerable sometimes, and that’s
the one thing he would never do.

They wash for a moment.

IZZIE

So what happened? You’re telling me
for a reason, right? What have we
learned from all this?

BENNY

He got a job to whack some
dignitary, I forget the name. He
gets in the guy’s bedroom and does
the deed, no problem, and he’s
leaving when this chick steps out.
Young, beautiful, holding a baby.
And she sees him and she knows
she’s a witness. And she doesn’t
freak out. She stays calm and says
’Let me put him in his room and
shut the door, and I won’t scream.’

And for some reason, he lets her.

And they go in the hall, and she’s
got tears rolling down her face,
and she says ’Do what you need to,
just please, let my baby live.’

IZZIE

Damn. Lady had some balls.

BENNY

You got to understand, this guy
didn’t see a lot of self-sacrifice
in his social circles. Guys might
jump in the way of a bullet in the
heat of the moment, before they
thought about what they were doing.
But here’s this chick perfectly
calmly offering her life.

IZZIE

What did he do?

BENNY

Oh, he shot her. But it bothered
him, after. None of the others had
ever bothered him. And it nagged at
him. Something had meant more to
her than her own life, and he
couldn’t understand that.

All the dishes done, Benny starts tidying up. Izzie glances over; the top newspaper clipping on his stack is headlined "AMBASSADOR, WIFE SLAIN."

BENNY (CONT.)

And he started thinking back about
all the others. For the first time,
he thought about what happened
after he did a job. He ruined the
lives of entire families with one
shot, and then walked out without
caring what happened next. He
realized, basically, that he was a
cowardly, selfish prick. So he left
to go think about things.
Consequences. Humanity. Whether or
not hitmen have souls. How to open
up and care about people. How to
enjoy music.

Benny turns off the RADIO.

BENNY

How to be vulnerable.

IZZIE

You think he became a dishwasher?

BENNY
(chuckling)

I doubt it, the pay’s crap. But you
never know. You can get a lot of
thinking done, washing dishes. And
bit by bit, you’re making the world
a better place.

CUT TO:

EXT. DINER – NIGHT

They emerge in the alley behind the diner. Benny locks up.

IZZIE

It’s a beautiful story, they should
tell it at Christmas. But it don’t
help me.

BENNY

You want a moral? You want to fix
your life, do it yourself. Don’t
make other people suffer for it.

IZZIE

You don’t know nothing about my
life, "Benny"!

Benny looks at him and his expression is suddenly cold, hard, scary as hell. For the first time, Izzie is afraid of him. So are we. This is a man who can kill.

BENNY

I know a little. I know your mom’s
alive and lives in Fort Lauderdale.
I know you got two sisters and a
brother, and I know where they go
to school and I know when. And I
know what your dad does to you when
he drinks. Didn’t even have to
Google it.

IZZIE

You leave them alone, goddamit!

Benny’s expression relaxes back to that of a harmless old man.

BENNY

Sorry, habit. But you been coming
to work with a lot of bruises
lately, so I had a little chat with
your dad today while you were in
school.

IZZIE
(suddenly terrified)

Is he…?

BENNY

Never touched him. I might have
scared him a little, you know, by
accident. Can’t have our janitor
coming in beat up all the time.
Nice that you still care about him,
though, don’t you think?

IZZIE

Jack don’t care you take long
lunches to go threaten people?

BENNY

Jack doesn’t own this place, Iz.

IZZIE

Then who… oh.

BENNY
(smiling)

A real owner probably would have
bought an electric dishwasher by
now. But I get by, and I watch over
my people. You’re my family. By the
way, I think Karen likes you.

IZZIE

Really? Did she… Wait!

(panicking again)

I know your secret! I could put you
away! What are you gonna do to me?

Benny takes in a deep, joyful breath of night air and looks around, beaming.

BENNY

I’m going to do the bravest thing
I’ve ever done in my entire life,
Isamu.

(beat)

I’m going to let you live.

Benny grins at him and walks off, into the night.

BENNY (CONT.)

Night, Izzie. See you tomorrow.
Hey, good luck on your report.

Izzie watches him go as we:

FADE TO BLACK.

Keeping Your Spirits Up

"Still below the weather, hon?"
"Much better now."
"The nap helped?"
"No, finding the poison you used on me and dosing your tea did."

Finding Your Inner Freak

“Huh. We tried abuse, vinyl, shoes, nothing.”
“Can't I just not have a fetish?”
“C'mon,” she said, lashing me from below, “that’d be weird.”

The Final Battle

“I’m a wizard,” he cackled, from his room below our stairs. And maybe he was. But it turns out that the wizard’s natural enemy is the Taser.

Results will be posted January 7th, and I'll be sure to harangue… um, ask nicely for your vote, if I make it that far.

Recap: NYCMidnight's "Tweet Me a Story" gives contestants 5 hours to write a story of 140 characters or less which must include a supplied word. My word was BETTER. Entrants could submit up to 3 stories, and 25 finalists were chosen. Two of my stories made the cut. Now the judges will select the top winners, but there will also be a reader's choice winner and that's where my shameless begging comes in.

If you've got a mind to, please consider going here and voting for my stories. They are:

From my blanket, I watched the surf. "It doesn't get any better than this."
From his time machine, me from 2023 sighed. "No, it doesn't."

"That's it, I have to know. You've been with me and with Mike. Which one is the better man?"
I smiled. "The one who didn't have to ask."

Both are marked as BY CHRIS BRIDGES. You can vote for as many as you like, but only once. No registration required.

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE or not, you know. Up to you.  You can see the rest of the finalists in the other groups here. Voting ends 6 p.m. EST tonight.

Thanks.

The results of the first round are in, and of the 25 top stories selected in my group, two of them are mine. This pleases me, and causes me to weep for the next generation of writers.

Starting at midnight, you can vote for your favorite Tweet Me a Story story, and I'd appreciate it if you would consider voting for mine. If you thought them worthy, of course. Or even out of misguided friendship, shameless pandering, or guilt. It all works for me.

The stories chosen were:

From my blanket, I watched the surf. "It doesn't get any better than this."
From his time machine, me from 2023 sighed. "No, it doesn't."

and

"That's it, I have to know. You've been with me and with Mike. Which one is the better man?"
I smiled. "The one who didn't have to ask."

And you can vote here. Vote early and vote often!

Self-Improvement

“Dammit, could you be a better man just once in your life?”

"Oh, sure," he laughed, lunging for her.

“Could you hurry?” she said, and fired.

Memories

From my blanket, I watched the surf. "It doesn't get any better than this."

From his time machine, me from 2023 sighed. "No, it doesn't."

Dying to Know

"That's it, I have to know. You've been with me and with Mike. Which one is the better man?"

I smiled. "The one who didn't have to ask."

I'll keep you posted on the results, because you know you're desperate to know. And here's one that didn't make the cut:

Keeping Your Spirits Up

"Are you feeling better, hon?"

"A little."

"Did the nap help?"

"No, but finding the poison you used on me and slipping it in your tea did."

We love Dollhouse. And we know from Buffy and Firefly that Joss Whedon fans are across-the-board smart, insightful, and involved.

So we’ve teamed up with Jane Espenson, Dollhouse writer and Mutant Enemy veteran, to put out an essay anthology on Dollhouse composed entirely of fan-written essays. Everyone, novice to seasoned writer, is eligible to enter; the only requirement is that you are fan of Dollhouse!

Write a great essay on Dollhouse, send it to us, and your essay could be published in a Smart Pop book edited by Jane.

They'll be using 18 fan-written essays, but one grand prize winner will get $1000!  Three first prize winners will get $250 and the remaining fourteen will get $100.  Not bad for doing what you[re already doing for free at Whedonesque.

Deadline is February 1, 2010. Check the SmartPop site for details and rules.

Most of the entries so far seemed to be variants of the existing one — many of them submitted by the same few people — so I decided to go a different direction with just an image depicting his trademark white mic stand.

Winner gets a T-shirt with the new design, signed by Jon. In my case, winning would mean an ecstatic Teresa, which is way more fun. We'll see if this is anything close to what they were looking for.

The Kitten, the Flame Demon, and the Car Wash
by C. A. Bridges (1,000 words)

Jess watched from the car wash lobby as the screaming flame demon roamed the streets. It wasn’t charging yet, but it was definitely rampaging in their general direction.

“The heat is on, ladies,” she said. “Maybe this can happen faster?”

“Gimme a second, OK?” Amanda said, before turning back to kneel in front of the weary young girl they’d rescued the day before. She was maybe 7 years old, but her eyes now belonged to a very old, very tired woman.

They had found her in an abandoned mall surrounded by roaring flames and smoldering bodies. She didn’t respond to them, wouldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. She’d been utterly silent and listless since they brought her back, as if she knew she was already dead and was vaguely wondering when she would fall over. “Honey?” Amanda asked her gently. “I need you to listen to me.”

There was an explosion. “Just torched the McDonalds,” Jess called.

“That thing, that fire thing that attacked your… that you saw? It’s coming this way. No, no, hold on,” she said soothingly as the girl stiffened. “We can stop it, but we need your help. Do you know where those horrible things came from?”

A pause, and then the girl shook her head.

“Do you know what magic is? Casting spells?”

A nod.

“Well, some very foolish people thought they could teach a computer to do magic. They thought they could program it with all the spells, the knowledge and the rituals of thousands of years, and then push a button. Do you think that was a good idea?”

The girl looked out at the angry towers of smoke rising from all around the city and shook her head violently.

“That’s right. They learned how to do magic, but didn't understand that power without wisdom is dangerous. Last year they accidentally called up a host of demons, and we’ve been fighting them ever since.”

“The boutique’s gone now,” Jess yelled. “If we’re gonna do this, we need to do it now!”

“And we have help,” Amanda said quickly. “There’s a race of very intelligent, very powerful beings already on the earth, here to protect us, hiding their abilities until now.” She stood up, opened the door to the office, and pulled out a cardboard box, which mewed. The girl’s eyebrows rose. “You might have met some of them already.”

A kitten’s head appeared, looked around wildly, and then focused on the little girl. “Blert!” it told her. Her expression never changed, but Amanda saw her relax ever so slightly.

“Cats can do magic,” Amanda told her, “every one of them, and their real job is to guard the doorways into the demon worlds. Those doorways are everywhere; under bridges, in the backs of closets… It’s a very important job, and they’ve kept us safe for a very long time.”

“Getting closer!” Jess yelled.

Sweating now, Amanda scooped up the kitten. “OK, short version. Jezzalyle here can fight the flame demon. Don’t underestimate her, she’s like 85 years old and a battlecat warrior. But we need your help. They don’t understand English but they can read our thoughts, and children are better at talking to cats than adults are. Adults never pay enough attention.” The girl nodded at that and even smiled a bit. “Could you ask her to help us? Please? Quickly?”

Jess started backing away from the glass. “It’s almost here!”

The girl took Jezzalyle from Amanda’s hands and held the kitten up to her face. The kitten looked her directly in the eyes with a disturbingly level expression.

Time seemed to stop as the girl visibly concentrated as hard as she could, and for the first time she spoke aloud. “Hello, Jezzalyle. I’m Laurie. Would you fight the demon for us? Would you save our lives?”

After an agonizingly long moment, Jezzalyle leaned forward and head-bumped Laurie’s face. The girl actually giggled a little hysterically at that. Amanda grabbed the kitten carefully. “Works for me. OK, you guys get in the office. I’ll get her positioned. Ready?”

She left and returned almost immediately, without Jezzalyle. They all heard a tiny snarling noise.

“What’s happening?” Laurie asked.

“Stay down, hon,” Jess said. “She’s challenging it. We can’t look directly at her when she–”

The demon began lumbering toward the car wash, beelining toward the tunnel and the hissing creature that was confronting it. A wave of heat washed over the women, who ducked out of the way.

“Down!” Amanda yelled and pushed Laurie’s head below the counter.

There was a loud clang. There was a series of roars like crashing waves, and a furious hissing noise that went on and on. Then there was silence.

The demon was gone. Steam billowed through the tunnel and out into the street. Laurie started to scramble over the counter.

“Where’s Jezzalyle?” she asked frantically.

Amanda pulled her back and hugged her. “She pulled the demon back through the doorway!” she said happily. “She’s going to banish it forever. Another cat will watch us till she gets back.”

Laurie took a deep breath and smiled. “She’s amazing.”

“Yes, she is,” Amanda said. “Now you go clean up, and we’ll see about some food.” Laurie hugged her back and left.

Jess took her hands off the car wash controls she’d been operating and they both watched the hoses retract and water swirl into the drains, along with what looked like a tiny bit of charred fur. “I think it’s adding the premium wax job at the end that finishes them off.”

“Probably.”

“Seriously, ‘Jezzalyle’? ‘Battlecat warrior’?”

“Didn’t hear any better ideas.”

“She won’t thank you when she finds out flame demons actually snarf cats like popcorn.”

“Yeah, but she’ll be alive to hate me, and that’s good enough.”

Jess sighed. “We’re going to go to hell for this, you know.”

“How will we tell the difference? Get ready, you’re going back out.”

“Food run?”

“No,” Amanda said, watching the girl skip away. “We’re gonna need more cats.”

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