However, while I have said in the past that I favor Obama but wouldn't mind McCain in the president's chair, I may have to retract that. McCain has apparently changed his views on presidential power in the last six months. Where he condemned warrentless wiretapping before, now he seems to be condoning it. I want a president who will return the executive branch to being only 1/3 of the government.

Granted, it's for a candidate I can't vote for unless I move to the Lone Star State by next year – no plans in that direction, sorry – but I wholeheartedly approve of him, at least in a gubernatorial capacity. Also, he writes great mystery novels.

Kinky for Governor!

Where are the politicians scrambling for the gaming vote? Why don't we see John Kerry publicly logging a 96-hour marathon run on "Final Fantasy XI?" Why isn't George W. Bush reinforcing the American family one "Sims Online" couple at a time?

It's easy to underestimate the reach of the gaming community. They don't share any racial characteristics (except possibly for an aversion to direct lighting) and they rarely intermarry. The closest thing to ethnic foods gamers share is Skittles by the handful and soft drinks with enough caffeine per can to start a car.

However, gamers also spent over $7 billion on computer and video games last year, and that's the kind of disposable-income demographic that can bring a tear to the eye of even the most hardened campaign finance director. Can any politician afford to ignore it?

The heritage of the gaming community is growing in leaps and spinning back kicks. There have been novels written within the game worlds, feature films based on game characters and their breasts (and here I'm not thinking of "Mario Brothers"), and even tribal ballads such as Buckner and Garcia's immortal "Pac Man Fever" or their soulful "Froggy's Lament."

There's also gamer poetry, thanks to wired artists such as Seth "Fingers" Flynn Barkan who just released a surprisingly entertaining collection of poems called "Blue Wizard is About to Die." Barkan writes of games gone past and of once-packed arcades now abandoned for introverted home game consoles. From his poem "Joust:"

"I don't think there is much doubt that riding an ostrich is pretty gay, especially when done as some part of a renaissance festival gone

"horribly

"horribly

"wrong"

There is a rich gaming language. It starts out as English, more or less, but quickly evolves to describe how u were totally about to bunnyhop in this kewl FPS but some kill stealing, low pinging n00b ganked u during a lag spike and raped your base before you could respawn. It's almost musical, in an "Apocalypse Now" sort of way.

Heads up, special interests! Angered gamers are willing to mobilize, as long as they can do it sitting down. Last week LucasArts announced the cancellation of the hotly anticipated new game "Sam and Max: Freelance Police" due to "underlying economic considerations," which translates to "we don't wanna, nyah." Outraged gamers immediately flooded the LucasArts home office with enough mail to cause structural damage and added thousands of signatures to the inevitable and ultimately useless online petitions. For a game! An incredible cool game, sure, but still. Imagine all that red-eyed energy harnessed and aimed by, say, a rumor that "Half Life 2" would be delayed another three months because a redistricting bill was hung up in the House.

The Republican National Committee Web site took the first halting steps towards courting gamers with "Kerry vs. Kerry," a Flash boxing "game" that pits the opinions of Senator John Kerry (D-Ma) vs. the opposing opinions of Senator John Kerry (D-Ma) in a knockout brawl. Unfortunately it displays a dismal understanding of the gamer mentality since there is no option to enter cheat codes, no secret doors to hidden levels, and I couldn't find any obvious way to make the senator steal the campaign press bus and embark on a virtual three-state killing spree. You call this a game?

Take some of that campaign money and bankroll games with political messages, hidden agendas. Get the word out to these hi-res voters. Duke Nukem may have gone to Washington back in '97, but that only resulted in two, maybe three good bills, tops. Let's get those pixels flying!

You'll probably have to perfect online voting first, though. The direct sunlight thing. You know.