Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

Valentine's Day! Most romantic of holidays, a day (and night) to celebrate the powerful relationship you've forged, with hard work, love and communication, with your significant other(s). Sure, it's a combination of several pagan holidays and Roman bacchanalian celebrations hammered together and relentlessly pushed at you by soulless corporations to sell greeting cards, candy and roses, but is that any reason not to go with it? Love it up!

However, there are those of you who will be alone on this day. You may be single, or widowed, or your lover may be unavoidably occupied very far away. Many of you feel Valentine's Day to be a mockery of your solitude, an insult added to your injury. I say thee nay! Valentine's Day is meant to be a celebration of love eternal, no matter what your immediate social situation may be. Spend it with the one you truly love! The one who will never leave you, no matter how bad things get. The one you can say anything to, the one you can touch wherever and whenever you want without fear of awkwardness or misunderstanding, the only one in the world that truly understands you and loves you anyway. Your dog.

For those of you who have no pets, spend the day loving yourself. Take a 24 hour period and cherish yourself the way you were meant to be. Learn to love the person who truly owns your heart.

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Before you read another line, make sure you realize
you must delete this note before it's seen by prying eyes.
The computer makes it easy, just a mousy click away
And you can safely read my thoughts on this romantic day.

But if, to be completely safe, you have to print it out
so your other guy won't see it and begin to scream and shout,
just crumple it completely 'til it's mangled just enough
or maybe you could burn it with that lighter fluid stuff.

Although this note is innocent, and even kind of bland
you'll be condemned for weeks because it's written by my hand.
There's cameras trained upon you every moment of the day
and everyone around you just might be in someone's pay.

So don't forget, please trash this note as soon as you have read it
or just shred it fast, we have to give the spying network credit.
It's February 14th now, the day of hearts and flowers
(but don't tell him I mentioned it or he'll be pissed for hours).

There's surely no good reason to commemorate this date
but right here for the record I would like to clearly state
that I don't still think about you every single day and night.
Whoops, that could be taken wrong I think, I better set it right:

I certainly don't miss you, for any reasons I recall,
and I can't think why I'd talk to you for anything at all.
Wow, even that sounds suspect, I guess safe's the way to go.
Better tear and toss the upper half before you read below.

Try flushing down the toilet to get rid of this here note
so no one else can see the kinds of messages I wrote.
Maybe as you read each single line just mark through with a pen
so Eyewitness News won't run it in some wacky accident.

We're still good friends, don't get me wrong, you know I know you won't,
but no more than that, even if we wanted, which we don't.
You've got someone, you're happy there, just so he understands
that you need someone to bitch to when things get too out of hand.

So you see this note is harmless stuff, it's boring and it's tame
Oh, goddamn it, [PERSON'S NAME], I screwed up and wrote your name!
Now you'll have to shred it thoroughly between your frantic hands
and throw each piece in thirty-seven separate garbage cans.

I'm sorry for the trouble and the unrequested fuss
since you know, today especially, I'd never mention 'us'.
I'll never send you anything to aggravate your steady
and you'll never see the twenty pages I threw out already.

So when everything is said and done, all I can do or say
is something unprovocative, so that leaves me with… "Hey."