My fevers were around 100.7 – just enough to worry, not enough for an obvious ER visit – and we weren't positive that it would be considered an emergency and therefore covered by my insurance, so we went to an urgent care place first to let them make the call. Doctor there took my money and said get to the ER and let them make sure my appendix wasn't about to blow, and hie us hence we did.

At the ER we got in fairly quickly (i.e. under an hour) and the nurses were great. The admitting nurse told us to call the next nurse we'd see "Candy," because they had all decided upon their "hooker names" today (the admitting nurse was "Bambi," we found out later). After I was shown to a room and given a robe "Candy" came in, set some IV stuff down, and said this was going to hurt a bit. "Ah, you're that kind of hooker," I said. She laughed, and Teres and I both agreed that hookers with needles were a bad combination.

I got a shot of something that turned me into a fully aware, yet mindless shambling thing (my medically-aware housemate told me later it was a relative of thorazine, and if that's true it was the kind of relative close enough that thorazine should never marry it) and got CT scans, which revealed that it wasn't my appendix. They didn't show what it was, though, and the doctor assumed diverticulitis. He told me about and made sure I understood what I needed to do, and I responded with perfect clarity even as I immediately forgot everything he was telling me because I was still doped to the gills. Teres got everything, though. I think.

Apparently diverticulosis is a condition where your intestines have little bubbles, like bulging places in an inner tube. Normally food whips past them, but if you have a low-fiber diet bits will accumulate in those bubbles and the the pain begins. That's diverticulitis.

I now have a clear, liquid diet for the immediate future, a high-fiber diet for the rest of my life, and most likely a colonoscopy in the next six months. Also prescriptions for various antibiotics, something for nausea, and Vicodin so I can play House.

All of which is a great way to begin my vacation, which started today.

So, how was your day?