Posts Tagged ‘media’
The latest shocking news about Tiger Woods is… how little I care
December 11th, 2009 | 
Author: Tiger Woods, gazillionaire golf star, has finally admitted to being a total skank and has quit golf indefinitely until all the bad jokes go away and he can come back. And I still don't care.
I don't follow golf, I don't make money from his endorsements, I'm not friends with him or his wife, I don't look to him for inspiration for my personal life. Why should I possibly care what he does, what he doesn't do, who he screws or who he screws over? If it was his wife fooling around on him, I still would not care. There is absolutely no reason for me to be interested in this train wreck of a situation, and I'm not.
What bothers me is, why is everyone else?
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In defense of newspapers that fold
In fact, the odds are good you didn't actually read that in a newspaper, or at least not one you can tear. More and more readers are getting their news from the Internet, which, nonstop hardcore e-reader that I am, I feel is a mistake.
First, the influx of news online may distract from the natural purpose of the Internet, which is to distribute pictures of women. And second, this trend makes it more likely that print newspapers will fade away, and I believe this to be a horrible future indeed. E-readers such as Amazon's Kindle, no matter how feature-rich, will never replace all the wonderful things we get from newspapers. Yes, you can subscribe to many newspapers and receive them wirelessly on your Kindle, but that's all you can do.
You cannot clip coupons or articles for scrapbooking.
You cannot send articles to friends and family.
You cannot use the previous day's Kindle for packing material unless Kindle prices come way down.
You cannot use the Kindle to block the view of your loving, devoted family during breakfast unless your family is very, very small.
You cannot fold your Kindle into a boat or a hat unless you use a bench vice, a good set of channel lock pliers, and a great deal of determination.
Hurricane coverage, and why I'd rather have the rain
I can't stand "live" network news.
Some bozo on CNN just nearly wet himself explaining the dangerous conditions he was in. The camera followed his finger to point at a broken window on the third floor of his motel, then a single 2×4 that had fallen to the ground.
He pointed out the whitecaps on the water in the parking lot, which was almost interesting, and then back to the broken window.
The situation was dangerous, yes, there clearly is a lot of slow, flood-type damage that the area will have to deal with, but it's not exciting and he looks pathetic trying to make it exciting.
Meanwhile you have situations like people trapped in collapsing apartment buildings in Gulfport, calling 911, trapped where emergency services can't get to them, people are in actual danger of their lives, now, and this guy is almost screaming about a sliding glass door that came off the track. I'm not kidding.
Best. Headline. Ever.
Nude man covered in cheese gets probation Says it all, really. In the ranking for "most disturbing yet touching story" is: Man accused of having relations with cows "A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves. "Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville." My favorite part: "He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with a girlfriend or his wife, the complaint said." See? He was faithful. Commitment means something, people!
