I don't follow golf, I don't make money from his endorsements, I'm not friends with him or his wife, I don't look to him for inspiration for my personal life. Why should I possibly care what he does, what he doesn't do, who he screws or who he screws over? If it was his wife fooling around on him, I still would not care. There is absolutely no reason for me to be interested in this train wreck of a situation, and I'm not.

What bothers me is, why is everyone else?

Searching online classifieds has its points, but I do like skimming an entire page at a time and stumbling across accidental wonders.

Silly Putty picks up absolutely nothing from a Kindle, no matter how you try. What fun is that?

Ironically, you cannot use a Kindle as kindling.

You don't get that wonderful, memory-triggering scent of paper and ink when you turn on a Kindle, especially since the "New Book Smell" aerosol product crashed and burned within a day (April 1, as it happens).

It is not that big a deal if you drop your newspaper in the bathtub.

Swiping a newspaper from a neighbor is playful one-upsmanship. Swiping your neighbor's Kindle is grand theft.

To begin reading a newspaper on a Kindle, you soundlessly turn it on. Compare that to the authoritative snap of a forceful newspaper opening, a sound that for a hundred years has been the international signal that Newspaper Reading is About to Commence, Leave Me Alone.

Kindles make terrible papier mache, no matter how finely you slice them.

Getting your newspaper wirelessly sent to you is amazingly convenient, provided you remembered to bring your Kindle with you. Newspapers can be bought just about anywhere for a buck.

Reading articles online is all well and good — it really is — but there's something to be said for looking at a newspaper page and getting a gestalt of the day's news at a glance.

You can't leave your Kindle lying around with the crossword completed in ink just to inadvertently show off how smart you are.

The demise of newspapers may result in unchecked tree growth across the country, leading to aggressive forestry moving into our cities and threatening our delicate ecological balance.

No matter how long you read your newspaper you will never wear out the battery, even if you leave it lying out for weeks.

If Kindles go under (it could happen) or change their format, your previous papers may no longer be available to you. But that stack of papers in your garage will remain legible for many years, providing a solid historical archive unless you get fed up and throw them all out.

Newspapers not only bring you daily news and analysis and comics and coupons, but their very substance goes on to enrich our lives anywhere cheap, thin paper is needed. Our country was informed, built, painted, insulated and wrapped with newspapers, and no little, really cool electronic device will ever replace that.

Some bozo on CNN just nearly wet himself explaining the dangerous conditions he was in. The camera followed his finger to point at a broken window on the third floor of his motel, then a single 2×4 that had fallen to the ground.
He pointed out the whitecaps on the water in the parking lot, which was almost interesting, and then back to the broken window.
The situation was dangerous, yes, there clearly is a lot of slow, flood-type damage that the area will have to deal with, but it's not exciting and he looks pathetic trying to make it exciting.

Meanwhile you have situations like people trapped in collapsing apartment buildings in Gulfport, calling 911, trapped where emergency services can't get to them, people are in actual danger of their lives, now, and this guy is almost screaming about a sliding glass door that came off the track. I'm not kidding.