Posts Tagged ‘Movies’

Today marks a special anniversary for the greatest (and longest) trilogy ever told, one that changed our lives forever in a million different ways: it’s Happy Towel Day, commemorating the death of Douglas Adams, creator of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”

Oh, yeah, it’s also some “Star Wars” thing.

Specifically it’s the 30th anniversary of George Lucas’ original film, which opened in 32 theaters on May 25, 1977, introduced us to Luke, Obi-Wan, Leia, Darth Vader, Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2D2, and C3P0, and went on to make a billion kajillion dollars with five more sequels/prequels, a staggering amount of action figures and other toys, books, artwork, novelty ties, and much, much more. There is no aspect of human life that “Star Wars” has not touched, or at least been marketed at. "Star Wars," like a bowling ball dropped into a punch bowl, changed everything and affected everyone nearby.

Which makes it impossible to write about, since in the last 30 years we’ve pretty much read everything about it. Columnists desperate for something to write about (i.e. all columnists) have talked about the movie, the making of the movie, Lucas' dreams, Lucas' nightmares, Lucas' grocery lists, the other movies, the merchandise, the fans, the secret Lucas grocery list uncovered years later that revealed Lucas hated milk despite earlier reports, the prequels, the original novels, the conventions, the even-secreter Lucas grocery list that proved Lucas loved milk and showered in it but removed it from the list in post-production, and what the columnist in question personally thought when the columnist personally saw it. That last is the easiest since no actual research is required, a big plus when your deadline is looming over you like a small moon.

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"Okay people, we've got a paper to put out. What have we got?"

"Three terrorist attacks, four natural disasters, seven different government plots (local and national), three conspiracies from our police department, a mutated shark attack, a Ferris wheel run amuck, escaped zoo animals, and 1,700 slain prostitutes."

"Damn, a slow day. What are the natural disasters, meteors?"

"Only two this time. NASA is sending up a ship with four big-hearted and funny ex-cons to stop one at the last possible minute, and there's a group of precocious but misunderstood kids working up a deflector beam for the other despite efforts by their parents and a corrupt FBI official to catch them."

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Summer is here! As measured by ever-earlier summer movie premieres, anyway. By the year 2010 Hollywood meteorologists predict that this trend will lead to the summer solstice clocking in sometime mid January. But that means it's time to see which blockbusters will suck away your money, your time, and your reasoning faculties. No time to research, I'll wing it from what I've seen in the trailers or from unfounded Internet rumors. Let's go!

Spider-Man 3: My Super Ex-Boyfriend
Once again we join our friendly neighborhood wall-crawler. Life has been good for Spider-Man. The city adores him, he's with the girl of his dreams, and he's on Burger King cups. But, like other young people thrust too soon into superstardom, he gets a snappy new evil black suit and an emo haircut, gets into fights in nightclubs, smashes a paparazzi's camera, pushes his girlfriend around, and fights a giant sand creature before finally snapping and ending up in a church tower. Same thing happened to Christian Slater in 1993. Coming in 2009, "Spider-Man 4: Escape from Rehab!"

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Joss Whedon, creator of "Buffy" and "Angel" and "Firefly," just announced that after months of work on the upcoming "Wonder Woman" movie he and the studio have parted ways.

"It's pretty complicated, so bear with me. I had a take on the film that, well, nobody liked. Hey, not that complicated."

Turns out his plans for the Amazonian were different from the studio's, and they moved on. It happens, no worries. Me, I'm relieved.

I was seriously worried sick that "Wonder Woman" wasn't going to be a mindless action shoot-em-up movie with a ludicriously implausible plot and a hip hop soundtrack, starring an actress hired for her breast size, bankability, and willingness to pose for Playboy as a promotional tie-in.

I mean, c'mon. Whedon is known for his "feminist" views and his insistence on "quality" and "acting," and they wanted him to write a big budget movie about a powerful, intelligent woman of nobility, strength, and independence? What dream world were they living in?

For the latest in "What the Heck For? News" we go to Val Kilmer, who is apparently considering doing a sequel to his breakout hit "Real Genius." As this is one of my favorite movies — one of the top movies of all time, as measured in quotable lines — I have to admit I accepted this news with shuddering horror.

Does it need a sequel? Would it be possible to get the same feel, the same tone? Would you even want to try? Whatever else it is, "Real Genius" is unquestionably an 80's movie right down to the cut and dried "military is evil" attitude and the moussed hair. The same (or similar) plot, in today's atmosphere, just couldn't be as light hearted. Why not do a sequel to "Willow" instead?

That said, I approve of Val Kilmer getting back into the laugh biz. His performance in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" was fantastic and the season's been light on good comedies lately. And there's only so many more dead musicians still without biopics. So, hey, maybe this will be the 20-year-later movie that breaks the curse of horrible sequels.

Or it'll end up in the bargain bin next to "Blues Brothers 2000." Place your bets.

Dashing heroes! Evil villians! Derring do! And lots of chase scenes!

The original Star Wars trilogy has been reworked into a thrilling 1 and a half minute silent movie (complete with musical soundtrack) that is, frankly, more entertaining than the last three. It needs some soulful staring from the romantic leads, but for all I know those might be in the six minute director's cut.

While you're in the mood, check out fellow silent-movie fans Team Tiger Awesome's growing collection of newly classic silent films, such as "Die Hard: The Ballad of John McClane," "Top Gun: A Requiem For Goose," and "Dirty Dancing: The Corner'ingation of Baby." (May be some questionable language).

If you saw "A Night at the Museum" last weekend, or half the sites on the Web this week, you've seen the new teaser for the Fantastic Four sequel movie. And you probably thought two things.

1. They're making a sequel? Why?
2. That was actually pretty cool.

Unless you're me, in which case you thought many more things, cuz I do that. My list was more like:

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OHHHHHHAAAOOOOOOAAAAOOOOOAAAAOOOGH!

Grab your loincloths, folks, the Lord of the Jungle is coming back to the big screen. Variety reports that Guillermo del Toro ("Hellboy," "Blade II") will direct a script to be written (possibly) by John Collee ("Master and Commander: Far Side of the World," "Happy Feet").

Since I suspect any good Tarzan movie would, of necessity, require elements of all those movies, I'm tentatively looking forward to this, but I have to wonder what new interpretation will result to differentiate this monkeyboy from Johnny Weismuller's Ape Man (still the classic), Miles O'Keefe (who was visible onscreen at least three or four times when Bo Derek's breasts were in profile) and Brendan Fraser (who's "George of the Jungle" totally raised the noble savage bar, as far as I'm concerned).

"I'd love to create a new version that is still a family movie, but as edgy as I can make it," Del Toro says in the article. "There are strong themes of survival of a defenseless child left behind in the most hostile environment."

So in this world of reimagining cherished icons, which hostile environments would be the most entertaining in which to heave a defenseless child? Reality shows have co-opted most of the good ones, so we'll have to improvise.

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Peter Boyle, star of stage, screen, TV, and Transylvanian castle, died last night.

Generally when his name come up he gets remembered (and rightfully so) as the tap-dancing Monster from "Young Frankenstein" and Frank Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond." But everyone knows the first one and I never watched Raymond (thereby disproving the title), so tonight I'll be honoring his brilliant, off-center memory by rewatching his honorable gangster in "Johnny Dangerously," his messianic nutball in "The Dream Team," and his hilarious prophetic insurance salesman in the best episodes of "The X-Files" ever.

Updated… See, last year a group called Booster Events held this massive Firefly/Serenity convention in California last year called "Flanvention." A lot of the cast shows up, there were panels and dinners and photo shoots and whatnot, membership was limited, and it was a lot of fun, a way for fans of the cancelled-too-soon show and because-we-demanded-it movie to talk to their favorite stars. This year's hotly anticipated event sold out months ago and it's happening this weekend, right now.

Or it would be. The organizers cancelled it. On Thursday.

There were some worries this would happen, after Nathan ("Mal") Fillion idly mentioned on his MySpace page a few weeks ago that he had yet to hear from the organizers about it. There was a brief outcry from fans, things were seemingly cleared up, all was shakily well. Then about two weeks ago the organizers announced the con might not go on due to financial difficulties. To the 500 people who paid hundreds of dollars for tickets (and, in some cases, thousands of dollars for lifetime memberships, since Booster Events does other cons throughout the year for other cult-favorite franchises) this was a huge slap in the face. Outraged fans made their voices heard before the organizers came back a few days later to say they got a loan and all was, again, well.

Then they cancelled it this week, after people around the world were already on their planes and in their cars and on their way. To say that the Firefly fan community (known as Browncoats) was staggered would be an understatement.

As stunned and betrayed fans began to arrive the California Browncoats jumped up to meet the frantic challenge of organizing a convention during, you know, the actual convention. Fans settled in to party among themselves anyway, mutter dark things about Booster Events, and make the best of it of the newly formed Browncoat Backup Bash.

Then the stars started showing up.

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