Posts Tagged ‘toys’

Unhappy with the first set of Serenity figures? Maybe the faces weren't close enough, or you were just frustrated that they stopped with three characters? So was Sasha, so she started making her own.

Sasha Powell creates custom figures. BtVS, Angel, her own family and friends, and (wait for it) Firefly! She's done one of each of the core cast and a few extra versions such as the frou-frou Kaylee (pictured) and busts of Mal, Inara, and the Hero of Canton. Starting from off-the-rack figures from Moore and McFarlane she cuts, slices, sculpts, melts and even boils them until she produces our heroes.

Read the rest of this entry »

The goslings hatched at Wash-O-Saurus! Back in stock, these adorable little birds are just right to be whipped through the air for amusement. Check out my review here.

You may have already seen Chris Doyle's awesome LEGO Serenity – made of 3,000 bricks, with light-up interiors and Firefly drive — and been astounded. I certainly was, which was why I was glad when he offered "Bag-O-Bricks" sets last year to make your own "snack-size" Serenity. I bought one and put it together in about two hours, with very little cussing (click the image for a larger pic). It came with illustrated instructions, a bonus stand, and a little LEGO Wash figure with a tiny dinosaur.

Even the small one (pictured) is incredible, with an amazing amount of detail packed in. The engine nacelles on the sides swivel and the Firefly drive in the back opens up, while a hidden hinge gives the neck that graceful arch. It's about 9" long, and, as promised, "swooshes" nicely. It also looks fantastic on display. There's a lot of detail and playing with it is a careful endeavor, but I was very happy with the results. My son has already plotted to steal it. You can download the free instructions here to make your own. 

He's also made Big Damn LEGO Heroes: Wash, Mal, River, Simon, Kaylee, Book, Inara, River, a Reaver, even Saffron! And you gotta check out the Naked Mal Diarama!

But that ain't all. Thanks to a generous donation of a few truckloads of bricks Chris has started on several ambitious projects. First, he's rebuilding his big ship and documenting it along the way so you can see how to make your own. Second, he's working on an even bigger one that's to scale with his Big Damn LEGO Heroes. And he's creating a 'versy town for them to visit.

Check out the Browncoat Central section of his LEGO page for details, along with pics of his amazing LEGO Mule.

Build your own Serenity! Chris Larson of MiniModelMadness has created a simple and not-terribly-detailed Firefly-class model for you to assemble and paint.

4 and 1/2 inches long, consisting of 5 separate pieces.

Once my order arrives and I take a swing at painting my first model in 30 years I'll post pictures and comments. For now, I refer you to Jim O'Malley's excellent review of his experiences with this model.

Juggling geese! Goslings! They were juggled!

And you too can get into this highly competitive sport with a boxed set of three fluffy, adorable, easy-to-hurl goslings. Even if you have no interest in goose abuse, this makes a fantastic gift. Packed in a huge Chinese take-out box, the goslings come with specialized instructions and a few goodies. You can't beat it for the price; I was very happy when I opened mine (pictured). And it turns out that goslings are a good weight for juggling. Who knew?

You need this.

Wash-O-Saurus also sells Browncoat silicone wristbands in brown and black.

Serenity! In plastic form!

Sadly, none of the ladies of Serenity have been figured, but here’s what’s available so far, with comments. WARNING: the more spoiler-centric of you might wish to avoid reading, just in case. Just look at the pictures.

Read the rest of this entry »

Just in time for the holidays, BabyBushToys.com is here with a full line of toys for children who aren't quite as gifted as you were hopin they were.

As it says on the site, "Many of today's children's products are focused solely on finding 'the right answer.' All of our toys have multiple correct answers, except some that don't even have answers. Or questions."

With toys like "Twisty Thing, That is Red" (similar to a Rubik's Cube without all those confusing colors) and the "L'il Looming Disaster Pillow," your child will enjoy hours of non-challenging fun!

Once again World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H.), the helpful worrywarts of the toy industry, has issued their annual list of the most dangerous toys of the season. And once again, they have let us down.

Every year these reports alert concerned parents about playthings that can take out eyes, lodge in windpipes, or casually burst into flame during normal use. And every year I read the list and shake my head. Are we so terrified of natural selection? How are our children supposed to become strong, gain valuable survival experience, and get cool scars?

OK, maybe the hair on Animal Alley Ponies (marketed for infants) can be accidentally ingested. But so can real horse hair! And the pair of Fantastic 4 Electronic Thing Hands from Toy Biz made the list because they could cause blunt impact injuries, which I sort of thought was the selling point.

Instead of anguishing over funtastic toys that can cause, at worst, crippling physical injuries or death, why not look at the toys with the most potential for real damage? Such as these: my own Ten Most Dangerous Toys of 2005.

#1. Robosapien Jr, by Playskool. The playful antics of this funny little cybernetic fellow (which utilizes advanced 'Bump-n-Giggle' technology to dance, spin, bounce off walls, and deliver "zany sound effects" while his eyes light up) can dangerously erode a child's natural distrust of unstoppable, emotionless killer robots, a weakening that will haunt us all in the apocalyptic times to come. Watch out on Christmas morning when the signal goes out from the secret home base and our new evil metal overlords all arise to go about their dread agenda while your dazzled children ooh and ahh, the fools.

#2 Toa Vakama Hordika, by Legos Bionicles. Can cause lower back pain, eye strain, and parental alcoholism due to frustration at putting the fricking things together. Comprised of approximately 4 billion microscopic plastic parts, Bionicles add unnecessary strains on a parent's anger management skills when it is suddenly discovered that after six hours of assembly, part #2,873,449 ("Teeny Tiny Irreplaceable and Utterly Crucial Rotor Elbow Joint 3a") is missing and the yelling begins. Oh, the yelling.

#3 Pictionary, by Hasbro. Challenging picture game that, used properly, can spark hazardous competitive nature between spouses until lifelong partners who have weathered the harshest tests of perseverance imaginable together with love and dedication suddenly erupt into closed fist fights over what that stupid squiggle was supposed to be.

#4 Dropstars R/C Dodge Magnum, by Tyco. May contribute to clinical depression when your child plays with these mightily pimped dub-style rides with huge tires, light-up rims, and plug-in MP3 player action and then, years later, has to come to terms with his actual ride: an elderly Geo that belches oil and doesn't have what mechanics call a "complete" floorboard.

#5 Furbys, by Hasbro. Yes, they're still around. And, like Luv Cubs, Fur Real Friends, Care Bears, and other cuddly automatons, they teach your children the valuable, never-to-be-forgotten lesson that loving, dependable companionship requires batteries.

#6 Playmobil Pirate Flagship, by Playmobil. Despite the many small parts and real working cannons this amazingly detailed toy is mostly dangerous to my wife, Teresa, who spent several fruitless weeks tirelessly combing stores in three counties for pirate-themed toys to use as decorations in her Pirates of the Caribbean-themed party, only to find this afterward when it was too late. Now I have to rush her past it in the store or she gets twitchy.

#7 Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus: Barbie as Princess Annika, by Mattel. Delusions of unattainable ideals of feminine beauty (including measurements that would make human women fall over) and mindless drives for absurd heaps of consumer products in this and all Barbies are not adequately rooted in reality and can easily detach and become lodged in your child's brain. But Barbies have been far surpassed by –

#8 Bratz Rock Starz by MGA Entertainment. Fires inappropriate standards of adolescent dress and deportment at high velocity. There is a danger that children may be impacted with an interest in pre-teen tattoos and belly bars or "a passion for fashion" of a sort traditionally reserved for prostitutes and dead musicians. Still not nearly as bad as –

#9 Bratz Big Baby Dollz, by MGA Entertainment. Contains high levels of preschool sexuality. Confused children may become accustomed to these funkified toddler babyskanks (which display heavy makeup and teenage pop diva clothes along with their baby bottles) and may start demanding new toy lines like the Kindergarten Kollagen Kit or My First Implants.

And finally:

#10 Xbox 360, by Microsoft. Can cause severe injuries, emotional disfigurement, and death. Not for children, who face only eye strain and thumb dislocation, but for the parents trying to buy one of the cursed things. Risks include hypothermia from long midnight lines outside Best Buy, bankruptcy from paying several times the list price to anyone who even hints they can get you one, and multiple fractures from other red-eyed, sleep-deprived, desperate parents trying to get to one first.

I hope this list helps and I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday, at least until the robots come.

Just got home to find a box waiting, and it was full of Serenity! In plastic form!

Sadly, none of the ladies of Serenity have been figured, but here's what's available so far, with comments. WARNING: the more spoiler-centric of you might wish to avoid reading, just in case. Just look at the pictures.

Read the rest of this entry »

Row upon row of dark figures loomed over me. Nervous, hesitant, afraid if what I might find, I pushed past them, hoping against hope that I'd find her safe and sound, but it was no use. Bruce Wayne's ex-girlfriend, Rachel Dawes, was nowhere to be found.

Looking down the "Batman Begins" toy display I could easily spot Attack Net Batman, Battle Cape Batman (deluxe), Battle Gear Batman, Bomb Blast Batman, Dual Blade Bruce to Batman, and (I'm not kidding) nine more different Batman figures. There were even a few bad guy figures for the hordes of batmen to go beat up. But no Rachel.

Katie Holmes shouldn't take it hard, though. Love interests rarely get their own action figures.

Years ago this wouldn't have been the least bit surprising. G.I. Joe didn't have any women under his command, unless it was strictly "don't ask, don't tell." I think there were Wonder Woman and Invisible Girl dolls when I was young but they were only spoken of in hushed tones.

And this bugged me as a kid. I wanted the full cast. Despite my inborn "fight scene" DNA I wanted to be able to play more rounded games, with intricate plotlines and tense, emotional moments. Besides, exciting last-minute rescues are even more dramatic when there's someone to, you know, rescue (although in my games it was a toss-up as to who would be rescuing whom from the Halifax River of Death).

In the last twenty years women have made great advances towards breaking through the plastic ceiling, following the inspiring lead of plastic feminists like Princess Leia, April O'Neil, Catwoman, and the casts of "Buffy" and "Xena." Now female action figures are available, as long as you're willing to go to specialty stores to find them.

The problem was that throughout the history of toys one rule was handed down from on high: Boys Don't Play With Girl Dolls.

Then a little indie movie called "Star Wars" came out, and merchandising was invented. Suddenly the notion of buying toys to complete a set encouraged the Lucas Empire – and, playing catch up, the Star Trek people and DC Comics and Marvel Comics — to make figures of every single entity they could think of or make up, male or female. Collectors ruled the market, and everyone was fair game for more revenue.

So why didn't the Batman people drop one of the Implausible Attack Batman figures and stick in another important cast member? She could even have been a rare "chase" figure to improve her retail desirability. It worked for Mary Jane from the first Spider-Man movie.

Chase figures bring their own problems, of course. If you're a parent who had kids in the late 80's, you know, and hate, April O'Neil, reporter and friend of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You may even still have gouge marks in the shape of my fingers if you got in my way around Christmas time.

"Chase," of course, refers to the way that collectors chased down truck drivers behind Toys-R-Us to pull boxes from the drivers' unconscious hands because there was only one April per case and their kids had to have one. April O'Neil was the crack of action figures. Why not continue that tradition?

And there are quite a few toy companies producing beautiful and cool female figures. Death, Kabuki, and Cry for Dawn are looking at me now from my shelf, joined by the dancing girl from the Simpsons.

And it could be argued that Rachel isn't that essential to the Batman movie. To be fair, there's no Alfred toy either, although I'd buy one. ("With new drink-serving action!") But search the racks for new Fantastic Four toys and you'll see that three of them seem to heavily outnumber the fourth, who is presumably not quite as fantastic. For the upcoming "Serenity" movie, which features nine main characters, four of them women, there are only three being released: two men and one bad guy. The belated "Pirates of the Caribbean" action figure series has Captain Jack, Captain Barbossa, Will, a pirate, and a complete absence of Elizabeth, whom I seem to recall was in a scene or two.

The Plastic Equal Rights Movement has a long way to go.