One year ago today, I was marching in a circle with many of my television heroes and an awful lot of people I had previously only known as screennames. Me and some friends managed to organize a gathering of 450+ people to picket FOX Studios during the writers strike, and Joss Whedon and Jane Espenson helped make it a themed strike by inviting writers (and stars) from their various shows to come out. Here's what I posted at SerenityStuff afterward.

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Sorry for the delay in reporting. I've been recuperating from being, in QuoterGal's perfect phrase, "blissed out."

So. When last we left our hero, he was taking off for Los Angeles to attend Mutant Enemy Day when fans from the four corners of the globe would be gathering to show their support for the writers' strike by marching along with writers and actors from Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon's former TV production company. Oh, and some Joss fellow.

The flight was uneventful, aside from the med student in the seat next to me who spent the time studying descriptions and full color images of surgeries and some extremely unfortunate man with a rather spectacular genital-based disorder.

Arrived in a gray LA and cabbed to the motel, returning calls about the event to the Wall Street Journal reporter and the local CBS affiliate on the way. Already I was acclimating to the culture! I was networking! I felt like putting on sunglasses and being insincere at somebody, but the cabbie was far too busy attempting vehicular genocide to notice.

I ran into half of the Bedlam Bards on the way up to the room we were sharing. Cedric told me that he'd gotten sick on the Browncoat Cruise (which had just let out that morning) and was feeling better, but now his wife Joyce and the other Bard, Hawke, were dealing with their own illnesses. Still, it was great to finally meet them both. Also met Julesong (Browncoat Cookbook, Can't Take the Sky radio) who was nice enough to let me monopolize her laptop.

They took off to have dinner with friend and Firefly composer Greg Edmonson and I got picked up by Adam Levermore-Rich (aka Lexigeek, of Black Market Beagles) and a van full of California Browncoats who took me out and filled me up with excellent California Pizza Kitchen pizza and cruise stories.

We moved on to a local Browncoat's house — easily identifiable by the fact that their bookshelves and posters looked much like my own — and started planning the next day with Amedawg, who had been working on reserving our after-strike picnic area at the Cheviot Hills Recreation Center. Adam, Amedawg, Violet O'Hara and I piled into Amedawg's car — you know you're among friends when the phrase "We can all fit, I just need to move the Millenium Falcon out of the back seat" is said completely without irony — and headed over to case FOX studios around midnight. Things looked good: nice wide sidewalks, plenty of room for marching, bathrooms nearby, a massive "Alvin and the Chipmunks" poster overhead to help encourage disgust at the studios… Adam found a discarded WGA writers' strike sign and carried it, held down, and drivers still honked at us. I told him to hold it up, let people think we were so dedicated we marched all night long.

Amedawg dropped me off at the motel after a fun and rather scattered impromptu tour of LA and I appropriated Julesong's laptop again. By this point in my own personal time zone I had been up for 22 hours, but I needed to check the weather. See, our strike was planned for 10 a.m. the next morning (sorry, that same morning) and weather reports had been increasingly dire. Rainfall was predicted, and the term "torrential" was used a lot. Now I'm used to ratings-hungry Florida newscasters turning every light shower into a killer hurricane, but still I was worried. Cold rain and estimated 22 mph winds could seriously cut down on our turnout, which we guessed at 150-200 (120 people had told us they were coming, we figured on some folks just showing up). I assumed it was an AMPTP trick, something engineered by evil AMPTP prez Nick Counter in his evil hilltop laboratory, but there was nothing to do about it but grin and bear it so off to sleep. Up again moments later when Julesong, the Bards, and The One True b!X showed up, b!X having gone through utter 7-level airline hell to get there. More talking and arranging and I ended up sleeping with b!X. Slash writers, please take note.

After a hearty 3 and a half hours of sleep I woke up anyway, got ready, and checked the weather. Cool, overcast, but a marked lack of rain, which meant either it had passed us by or would dump on us later. Ah, well. A quick Continental breakfast ("continental" means "stuff we don't have to cook") and Adam and crew picked me up to go to the site at 9.

Which already had 40 or so people waiting at it. There was a crew from Australia in town for the cruise who hung around, and lots of familiar names (if not faces). Hardest part of the entire event? Remembering faces and two sets of names for every person. It helped that QuoterGal handed out nametags. I have to admit we were relieved. An hour to go and already we had a respectable turnout. We mulled around, munched donuts, and hoped more people would show up. Which they did. In carloads. And busloads. We had something like 120 people by 10 and Adam gave a rousing Strike Captain speech that ultimately boiled down to "Don't harass the writers, we're here for them today." And then, we marched. (Video of the fans heading to the strike line.)

Cedric started playing strike songs immediately — Hawke, still sick, had to stay back at the motel — and we streamed over to FOX where the WGA had already set up a command center and our own Dreamlogic was already handing out food. The WGA Strike Captain, Erich Hoeber (writer, "Alice"), seemed a little stunned at the turnout. Everyone bunched up to sign in and grab a plastic-covered sign, and Cymerin handed out Fans4Writers stickers labeled "_________ FANS SUPPORT THE WRITERS" for people to personalize. And Joss was there, and he was… Joss. Funny. Eager. Didn't look sick at all, which had been a concern what with his month-long creeping crud and the day's chill breeze. He grabbed a sign and got right into it. And, after some mulling about, so did everyone else.

There was also a large box for canned goods — we were also holding a food drive for the LA Food bank, and that went well.

The sidewalk in front of FOX studios had plenty of room for people to walk a long loop around and around. We got some smaller groups of people crossing the street over and over at the crosswalk, and all in all we filled the place up. Little weird marching within sight of Nakatomi Plaza (I kept expecting Bruce Willis to come flying out of it) but I have to admit that as a fan of "Firefly" (and "Futurama" and "Greg The Bunny" and "Andy Richter Controls The Universe" and "Wonderfalls" and "The Tick" and "Undeclared" and "Titus" and "The Inside" and "Drive") there was a definite visceral appeal to marching in front of FOX carrying a sign.

Various members of the press were there interviewing the important-looking people and occasionally our own Adam Levermore-Rich, who was the fan Strike Captain and our media guy and who had the snazzy hat. Joss was in and out of interviews most of the day but still kept breaking away to march in the line.

How to describe it? Imagine getting together with a few hundred of your closest friends to do something good for your personal idols. It was pretty much exactly like that. (Video of the first part of the strike.)

Some quick hits:

Cars honked at us. A lot. Almost continually. Sometimes cars would stop at the light and look around and recognize someone famous in the line, and the expressions were wonderful.

Then they'd honk again. Everytime someone honked, we'd woo. If a school bus or truck honked — and they did — we'd woo louder.

Juliet Landau (Drusilla, "Buffy") was there early and stayed nearly the whole four hours, walking nonstop in heels. She spent a lot of the time walking and talking with either Keith Szarabajka (Holtz, "Angel") or Nicholas Brendan (Xander, "Buffy") but she kept moving; I'm not sure I ever saw her not moving, come to think of it.

Harry Groener (Mayor Wilkins, "Buffy") showed up early but had to leave after the first hour. Michael Fairman (Niska, "Firefly") had been told about ME Day while on the Browncoat Cruise and he showed up bright and early and wearing red.

Cedric and Julesong kept up the songs through most of the strike, including Julesong's ME Day Theme (to the tune of the Firefly theme) and the "The Heroes of the Writers' Strike" b!X, Cedric and I wrote to the tune of "The Hero of Canton."

Cedric got to perform it for Ben Edlund, writer of "Jaynestown," who approved (although Tim Minear asked about residuals for it).

The One True b!X got a chant going at one point, with half the line shouting "GRRR!" and the other half answering "ARGH!"

Jane Espenson looked wonderfully happy the whole time, clearly delighted that so many fans came out. She had her marchin' hat on and she set a strong pace, walking with one of the writers from "Carpoolers."

Morena Baccarin's hair is now very short. It looks good on her, though. She didn't stay long and is one of the few I didn't get pictures of, but she was there bright and early.

RavenU from Fans4Writers had created a tote bag with "Mutant Enemy Day" and the Grr Argh monster on it, and she was getting ME people to sign it so we could give it away at the end of the day to someone who had bought pencils from the Pencils2MediaMoguls campaign and listed "ME Day" as their dedication, a way for people who couldn't make it to get involved anyway. I helped out for awhile by essentially grabbing writers and celebs as they went by to stop and sign. Tom Lenk managed to ignore my "excuse me" several times as I walked backwards to pace him until David Fury finally made him stop and sign (I think he thought I was asking for an autograph — which I was, just not for me — and we found out that an overzealous fan had taken it upon his or herself to tell every celeb within range that they weren't supposed to sign autographs or pose for pictures, which was not true, we just didn't want anyone mobbed or the line disrupted).

Ron Glass showed up later on and marched, grinning ear to ear and chatting with everyone. Towards the end he kept saying he had to go, he had a tight schedule, and then he'd go ahead and do another lap, and then another…

Some of the writers that showed up: Joss, Jane, Jeffrey Bell, Tim Minear, Mere Smith, Steven S. DeKnight, Ben Edlund, Sarah Fain, David Fury, Drew Goddard, Brett Matthews, Marti Noxon, Doug Petrie, and Brian K. Vaughn. And that was just the writers related to Mutant Enemy shows. We also saw Jim Berstein ("American Dad"), Laurie Huxley ("The Black Donnellys") and more, there for support and 'cause they're fans, too. Also Loni Peristere from Zoic and Douglas Romayne, a composer from "Buffy."

I know I've said this before, but Summer Glau looks every bit as ethereally beautiful in person. She spent a lot of time marching with Felicia Day, one of the "potentials" from the last season of "Buffy" and the star/writer/producer of the online show "The Guild."

Eliza Dushku? Also a knockout. I noticed that Joss walked the loop in turns with her, Summer, and Amy Acker, especially right after each one showed up. Dunno if it was to put them at ease for this very public appearance or just to say hey.

I didn't recognize Amy Acker until I saw my own photos afterwards. She looked like a fan!

We had only one accident I know of, a fender bender across the street. Too bad there weren't any witnesses, or anything…

J. August Richards popped on the scene and started firing people up, yelling for more noise and pumping a sign up and down before settling down and saying hello to everyone. By the middle of the day some of the stars started clumping together in groups — partly because they were being interviewed over and over again and it made things easier — and he hung around Summer, Nathan, and Tim Minear for awhile.

Did I mention Nathan? He came storming in, swept down the middle between the two sides of the strike line, and made some noise himself. Not a lot, though. I was near him for half an hour or so during some of the podcast interviews and whenever attention was off him he looked sick. He snapped right up if anyone came nearby, though, and had fun talking to Nicholas Brendan and Raphael and Yan Feldman. He's very tall.

United Hollywood was doing a live interview that fed into their podcast but they kept having technical difficulties. Found out later that the people doing it weren't professional journalists, they were Rick Parks (writer, "Ever After") and Sam Humphreys (writer, "CSI"), who had volunteered. They kept asking for Fans4Writers people to interview and never actually got around to interviewing us, although they did talk to RavenU about the tote bag and to zz9, a Whedonesquer who had come over from Essex. But I missed a lot of the strike waiting for the interview.

Matter of fact, I didn't spend much time talking to writers or stars. I walked the line a lot, but mostly I was taking pictures and making sure everything was going smoothly, along with RavenU and Adam and QuoterGal and the other organizers. I'm oddly proud of the fact that almost none of my celeb pictures were posed (my two exceptions: Jane, who wanted a pic taken without the hat, and Joss, for an iconic "angry striker" shot). Not a lot of shots of me from other people, either, which is just common sense in my opinion.

I heard later that there was a drive-by wetting, as someone threw a couple of water balloons at the line out of their car window.

Alan Tudyk showed up in the last hour and caused another small stir as he and Nathan rebonded. I caught him coming in and told him about the tote bag, but RavenU had gone after another writer and was nowhere to be found so I told him I'd get back to him. When I saw where she'd gone I waited for him to come around again, grabbed him out of the line and took him over to where… RavenU had disappeared again. By this point I think Alan thought I was missing my buffer panel, but I did finally get the three of them (Alan, RavenU, and the tote) in the same area, saying "See? See? She exists! I'm not crazy! Ha ha!" He smiled and signed and backed away…

There were strike dogs!

Some of the stars that showed up in support: Amy Acker, Morena Baccarin, Nicholas Brendan, Felicia Day, Eliza Dushku, Michael Fairman, Raphael and Yan Feldman, Nathan Fillion, Ron Glass, Summer Glau, Harry Groener, Juliet Landau, Robert Lee (the Fruity Oaty guy), Tom Lenk, Keith Szarabajka, Camden Toy (a Gentleman from "Hush", "Buffy") and Alan Tudyk. Also William Mapother from "Lost."

Sarah Michelle Prinze also sent over boxes of donuts with a note saying "Enjoy! XOXO Sarah Michelle."

Camden Toy must be singled out. Not only did he show up early and stay the whole time, he also stayed for the entire picnic afterwards, talking to fans, and then he stopped and talked to us a bit as some of us waited for the bus back to the motel. For a man who plays creepy, evil-dripping bad guys, he was fantastic.

Every now and then I stopped over at the command tent and asked about numbers. Remember, we expected 120 to 150. As of 2 pm there were 370 names on the signup sheet, and the WGA strike captain was estimating 450 to 500 people all together since most of the later attendees never signed in. (At one point when I checked I saw Amy Acker's name and phone number on a sheet, but I figured writing it down would just be stalkery so I let it go. Sigh.)

When things wound down at 2 pm Joss gave a speech and thanked everyone for showing up. "Thank you guys, from the bottom of our hearts. This does so much, not just for us but for people who hear about it, who see what happened here today, how much support we have in the community, it's not just about the writers, it's about the entire creative community and the country and the union. You guys understand that in a way that so few people do and you came out here and you did the time to prove it. Thank you all, every one of you, so much, and I'll see you at the picnic." (Watch his speech here)

Those who could stay went back across the street to the picnic area. I hung around and helped some of the other organizers pick up the sidewalk and load picket signs — some people hung in to theirs, I did the responsible thing and gave mine back and now I wish I hadn't. The WGA strike captain was amazed again when he saw us picking up. I think we have a fan. I did see a single strike sign off to the side, past the studio, that I kind of mentally tagged for later but Jane Espenson picked it up on her way out. Curses!

Tim Minear was heading out by the time I got to the picnic, so I missed him talking, but I got to spend time meeting new old friends, munching on a huge pile of food and taking more pictures. Joss stayed for a couple hours, chatting with everyone and looking pleased. Adam told him we had asked the fans to avoid mobbing anyone; Joss told him that he had brought along four Sharpies for autographs and hadn't pulled one out the entire time.

I did get a pic with Joss. At the picnic he was fair game.

Also met Washosaurus and several other people I knew only through screen names. And I found out later that 11th Hour was there and I didn't see her, which may be my biggest disappointment.

Joss finally packed up to go, standing on a picnic table to thank us again and assure us, with tears in his eyes, that if he got a cold again he was blaming each and every one of us for it.

After cleaning up some of the picnic stuff — although I noted that Whedon fans tend to pick up after themselves — I left with Julesong, b!X, and Cymerin. We hooked up later with Dreamlogic and another Browncoat I can't remember now, and went to La Cantina, the mexican restaurant owned by Claire Kramer and her husband that featured so prominently in the Browncoat Backup Bash. We hung out there, wandered around Hollywood Blvd. and visited the Scientology Christmas display (L. Ron Santa), I bought my obligatory tacky souvenier, and we went on to the Nuart Theater which, by lucky coincidence, had a midnight showing of "Serenity" that night, scheduled months previous after their booking of "Once More with Feeling" was cancelled.

The Nuart is a small, artsy kind of theater and I don't think they usually get the down-the-sidewalk lines they got that night. We swarmed in and sat through an astounding range of previews — I want to live in LA to be near a theater that advertises "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," "Boogie Nights," and "The Muppet Movie" — before settling down to watch the Big Damn Movie all over again. Nothing like seeing it on the big screen.

Headed back to the motel room about 4, crashed again. Little more room this time, as the Bards had to leave right after the strike. Woke up early again, giving me something like 8 hours of sleep in the last 50, and got ready to be picked up by Andy Gore from QMx who then proceeded to give me a tour of his living room, the contents of which would make any Browncoat (or BSG fan) drool in an embarrassing manner. The man has props. Lots of 'em. He also has original design sheets from "Firefly" from Tim Earls. And a screen-used Mal pistol. And a screen-used BSG wall decoration. And various prototypes of upcoming QMx projects that I can't tell you about but that you're going to love.

Andy took me to a little bakery/coffee shop in Brentwood where I had my one and only accidental celebrity sighting: Jon Lovitz, who was at the table we were waiting for. We finally got the one next to him and then politely ignored him while Andy and I talked Serenity stuff.

After a day of errands and poking about I flew back home where I arrived at 6:30 in the a.m. on Sunday, still wired. I drove home, gave my wife the highlights, closed my eyes for a sec, and woke up ten hours later. And that's my vacation story.

You can see the rest of my photos here. And a lot more photos from other folks here. And here's where they took pictures of me. And if you watch the Friday Fangirl Fantasm video of Joss long enough, you can see just about all the Fans4Writers folks walk by at some point (I go by around 2:56).

And now I'm off to sleep some more.

Unfortunately, Marcia Smith, executive director of the Screen Actors Guild Foundation, said the organization's ability to help actors like (Brenda) Ricci is in danger. "If this [rate of giving] continues for even another two weeks, we will have really made a huge dent in our budget," said Smith. "If we use up all of our money by February, then we're in trouble."

And in a few months, if the new WGA contract isn't to the actors' liking, they may be going on strike when their contract runs out in June. I know a lot of you have donated to the various writers' funds, and good on you for doing so. I don't think any of our BDHs are hurting, but all of them can speak about lean times and the unknown actors from shows we have yet to obsess over may be out there somewhere…

Smith encouraged those who can afford to do so to donate to the SAG Foundation. One hundred percent of donations go to members in need, with no money going to administration costs. Unless the strike ends soon or some major A-list celebrity donors step in, the Foundation will be hard-pressed to continue helping actors. "It's a difficult time," she said.

To make a donation or inquire about assistance, contact the SAG Foundation at (323) 549-6708, or visit www.sagfoundation.org. The Actors Fund can be contacted at (323) 933-9244, ext. 55, or online at http://www.actorsfund.org/

However, funds are still needed for people – writers and others in the industry – who have been financially hurt by the strike. The WGA set up the Writers Guild Foundation Industry Support Fund for just that, and you're welcome to donate to it. Or, you could buy some Strike Swag.

They've had shirts available for months, but they recently added something I was glad to see: a WGA strike sign poster (pictured). When I attended the Mutant Enemy Day in front of FOX Studios in December, my one regret (besides completely forgetting to stuff Summer Glau into my carry on bag) was not getting to keep my strike sign. I wanted one, dammit! But we were the organizers, and we wanted to set an example and not swipe anything, so we stacked our signs neatly in the back of their van. Grumble, grumble, grumble…

Well, I'm getting one now, and I didn't even have to mug a smaller writer to get it! Heavy cardboard, 18"x24". And proceeds go towards the Industry Support Fund. Or you can buy United Hollywood shirts and caps to help support the soon-to-come new UnitedHollywood.com which sounds seriously cool. "Soon, you'll be able to create your very own page on U.H. to express yourself and share the industry news that matters to you. We'll also be adding forums to discuss all aspects of the entertainment business. Writers, actors, below-the-line crew members, musicians, directors, computer programmers and fans will all have places to interact on our site."

So, this isn't really a Serenity thing, but it is a "respecting the writers, including and especially Joss" thing, and that's close enough. And now you can show off your sign and tell the woman you just picked up in a bar that yeah, you were there. It won't work, but it's classier than etchings.

CROWE: Hi, I'm Mick Crowe. And this is my job.

CUT TO: Opening sequence shows CROWE performing different disgusting jobs: sewage pumping, collecting soil samples in a swamp as an alligator approaches, greasing up competitive bodybuilders, working in a high school cafeteria, etc. Over this is the show logo: "FILTHY JOBS with Mick Crowe."

CROWE (V.O.): I travel the world to find hard-working men and women who do the jobs that make life easier for the rest of us. Now get ready… to get filthy.

CUT TO: CROWE walking through an elegantly-appointed hallway. He talks to the camera as we follow him past offices and busy employees.

CROWE: You may be noticing I look a little different today. Usually I'd be in old jeans, a T-shirt, and a baseball cap bearing the name of whatever hapless company whose productivity I would be ruining that day for our show. This job has a different dress code, but trust me, it's one of the filthiest jobs I've ever taken on.

CROWE arrives at a polished oak door. On it is a small gold sign: "MIGHTY MOGUL ENTERTAINMENT, CEO."

CROWE: Today, I'm a studio executive.

He walks through the door. Inside is a sumptuous office, filled with tasteful furniture and a small fountain. There is a string quartet playing soft music in one corner. At the far end is a desk the size of a Buick and a smiling, middle-aged man. The floor is littered with loose cash, which CROWE shuffles through like autumn leaves. Faint strike slogans can be heard from outside. CROWE stops and gestures to the man.

CROWE: This is Austin MacFeady, CEO of Mighty Mogul Entertainment here in Los Angeles. Mighty Mogul produces movies and television shows for the Gimme! Network, and —

ASSISTANT: I'm sorry, sir. I'm Mr. MacFeady's assistant. He's in an executive meeting, but you can go right in.

CROWE: Oh, right. Thank you.

CUT TO: A magnificent boardroom. It's dark, lit only by the roaring fire in the middle that casts flickering lights on the heavy tapestries and assorted gold decorations on the walls. Six or seven men in suits are sprawled around the fire across silk pillows, laughing and yelling to each other. MACFEADY is seated above them. CROWE enters but is pushed aside by barely-clad reality show contestants bearing trays of fruit and a roasted ox.

CROWE: Hi, I'm Mick —

STUDIO EXEC 1: (yelling) MacFeady! What is best in life?

MACFEADY: To crush the union, cancel their development deals and hear the lamentations of their strike leaders!

The STUDIO EXECS laugh uproariously and continue drinking.

MACFEADY: Mick! Glad you could join us. These are the heads of some of the other studios, we were just talking about the writers' strike.

CROWE: Let's get that out of the way. Why are the writers on strike, anyway?

MACFEADY: That's a very complicated matter, with valid points on both sides, that requires a great deal of explanation, Mick. But what it all boils down to is that they want to cripple the entertainment industry and the entire economy of California to serve their master, Satan.

The STUDIO EXECS all mutter and spit on the floor.

CROWE: I don't recall seeing that on any of their flyers, Austin.

MACFEADY: No, they talk about "residuals" and "New Media" and "percentages" and other words that no one's ever heard of. That's the thing with writers, they make stuff up. "Fair compensation," what's that?

CROWE: I believe they're asking that the 22-year-old residual rate for DVDs be increased, that they get a fair percentage of the profits from online broadcast and productions, and union jurisdiction over animation and reality shows. That sound about right?

MACFEADY: Probably. Who cares? C'mon, have a seat.

CROWE: I don't mean to interrupt, but why exactly can't you give the writers a percentage of the online profits? Isn't broadcasting their work online the same as broadcasting it on TV?

The STUDIO EXECS all laugh.

STUDIO EXEC 2: It's completely and totally different.

CROWE: How?

ALL THE STUDIO EXECS: When we rerun the show online we get to keep all the money.

They laugh again. Several deliver high fives.

STUDIO EXEC 2: No, seriously, when it's online it's not a rerun. It's promotional.

CROWE: An entire episode? If viewers can watch the whole show, what are you promoting?

STUDIO EXEC 4: Toyotas.

STUDIO EXEC 3: And since everything is moving towards online distribution, we're looking at a huge savings down the road.

CROWE: But doesn't that mean the writers will be seeing a drastic cut in their income?

STUDIO EXEC 2: Yeah, but that part's just funny.

MACFEADY: Enough talk. Mick? Time to get to work.

The reality show contestants begin to dance.

CUT TO: The administrator's office. MACFEADY and CROWE come out. Loud laughing and music can be heard before the door closes again.

CROWE: So, what do we do first?

MACFEADY: Well, our usual schedule has been changed because of the writers' strike, but I'm sure we can find something for you to do. (laughs heartily)

CROWE: This is where the magic happens, huh?

MACFEADY: Right here is where I make all of our shows and movies.

CROWE: You, personally?

MACFEADY: Couldn't happen without me. I pick and choose the projects and talent, and I guide them to successful releases. At heart, I'm an artist.

CROWE: When you say you guide them, what does that mean?

MACFEADY holds out his hand; his assistant slaps a script into it.

MACFEADY: Here's a spec script for a new series we stashed away before the strike started. It's an adventure series about an old guy who's tracking down the men who killed his wife 20 years ago, trying to get them all before he dies of cancer. Make it happen!

CROWE: Really? OK, I guess first I'd find a director with a distinctive style who can shoot both action and emotional scenes. Then I'd talk to him about the right actor, maybe someone in his 60s who would really sell it to the audience. Then I'd talk to the actor and the writer to start developing the story arc …

MACFEADY: Whoa, no, no. The first thing you do is check the demographics.

CROWE: The what?

MACFEADY: You pick the advertisers you want, you find out which demographics they want to hit — age, income, gender, whatever — and you make a show that gives it to them. Who's looking for a show?

ASSISTANT: Apple.

MACFEADY: Apple? Forget the old guy. Old people don't buy Macs. Make him 20. And no cancer, cancer depresses people. Say he's got to find all those guys in a year and if he does, it brings his wife back to life.

CROWE: How?

MACFEADY: I'm a writer? Let them figure it out. Actually, let's make the guy a chick, action chicks are hot now. She'll need to be 18, though, 20's too old for a chick. And she has to find and kill all these guys in a year to get back her dead boyfriend. That gives us a season.

ASSISTANT: Money in the bank.

CROWE: What about next season?

MACFEADY: You kidding? It'll probably get cancelled long before that. If we need to we can always kill him again and start over. But we need a hook.

CROWE: Um, how about she tracks the guys down, but she falls in love with one of them? Then she'd be conflicted, and —

MACFEADY: She's a stripper!

ASSISTANT: Perfect, Mr. M.!

CROWE: What?

MACFEADY: That's how she makes her money, traveling around to strip clubs, maybe with her blind twin sister and a dog. That way we get her half-naked most of the time, that's another 5 shares right there, we get the sensitivity points and the dog lovers, and at the end of the show viewers go to iTunes to buy the music she was stripping to. Apple will walk over their grandmothers to get this!

ADMINISTRATOR: Genius, Mr. M.

CROWE: Is there somewhere I can wash my hands? I feel a little —

MACFEADY: Now we need the talent. And you know how we choose that, of course.

CROWE: Based on previous success and ability?

MACFEADY: Based on who we have development deals with. Pick a director, pick a star or two, just grab 'em at random. I use darts, myself. The best part is that whatever they did before, the media will be all "ooh, a new direction" and "a bold choice." But right now, of course, the strike is paralyzing us so we can't get any writers or actors to cross the picket lines. That means we have some hard work ahead of us.

CROWE: Ah, we're going to negotiate with the Writers Guild. I was hoping I'd get a chance to —

MACFEADY: No, Mick. We have something far more important to do.

CUT TO: A large room full of desks, where people are feverishly typing. All of them look grim, many of them look as though they've been there for days at a time. Several are weeping as they type. One of them can be seen rubbing soap in his eyes, screaming and then bending back to his keyboard, enraged. CROWE and MACFEADY enter.

MACFEADY: This is the PR Pit, or the sock puppet room. Go on, give it a shot. Here, you'll want this bucket.

CROWE: Sure thing. Should I know what I'm doing? I don't usually (mugs to the camera), just thought I'd ask.

MACFEADY: This is where we tirelessly work to counteract the bad PR from the writers' strike by going to each and every article, forum or blog that's talking about the strike and posting comments.

CROWE: Comments that explain your position clearly and reasonably?

MACFEADY: Comments that accuse the Writers Guild of America of incompetence, malfeasance, and, when appropriate, necrobestiality. And we pretend to be writers ourselves, so people believe it.

CROWE: Well, I'm here to get filthy. What do I do?

MACFEADY: Let's see … here we go. Here's an article from a respected source about how what the WGA wants would cost us less than what we paid to get rid of a single disgraced CEO last year. Get in there and comment, Mick!

CROWE: Should I say I'm me, or —

MACFEADY: No, no. Go with "Anonymous" or "Starving Writer with Leukemia." Here's some sample phrases, just mix and match.

CROWE: Right. "I can't believe anyone is buying this. I know every single writer in Hollywood personally and they all think the WGA negotiators are ignorant greedheads who step on babies. Give it up and go back to work. If the multizillionaire writers weren't so greedy we'd all be working now and animated birds would sing to us. Love, Anonymous." Is that … is that … ulp…

MACFEADY: Great!

CROWE leans over and throws up into the bucket. MACFEADY laughs.

MACFEADY: They all do that the first time, Mick, don't worry about it.

MACFEADY grabs CROWE's arm and drags him out of the room.

CUT TO: The hallway, where CROWE is wiping his mouth.

CROWE: And that helps?

MACFEADY: Every poll shows the viewing public is behind the writers, and we need to bring that down a bit. Good negotiating strategy, and we hired the best and most expensive public relations people in the business to do it.

CROWE: But why attacks? Why not just explain your side?

MACFEADY: Turns out that "we don't wanna" isn't really defensible. But we have our reasons.

CUT TO: Another large room, filled with hundred of massive tubes extending from the three-story-high ceiling. Money is spouting from the tubes into large bins with digital counters on the sides. MACFEADY walks up to one marked "NIGHTMARE EYES III."

MACFEADY: See this movie?

CROWE: "Nightmare Eyes"? Yeah, that was great. Didn't it make a couple hundred million last year?

MACFEADY: And here's what the writer gets.

MACFEADY reaches down to the coin dish on the side of the bin, where he scoops up some change.

MACFEADY: See? Perfectly fair.

MACFEADY walks to another door and opens it to reveal a man dressed in rags, shivering in the cold. Behind him are a woman and two children. One of the children sneezes. MACFEADY hands him the change, slams the door and turns back to CROWE.

MACFEADY: Now if we doubled it, I'd have to walk over there twice as often. Do I look like I have that kind of time, Mick?

CROWE: But studios heads make tens of millions of dollars a year in salary, target bonuses and stock options. Couldn't you take a smaller percentage of the profits yourself, leaving more money for the writers, actors, directors and production crews who make the shows and movies that are making you rich?

MACFEADY stares at him.

CROWE: OK, forget that. What about residuals for online broadcasts? I know you've said that the Web is too new and you can't predict how it will do, but all of you have bragged to your stockholders about the millions you've been making from online distribution. Wouldn't it be ethical to share that success with the people who made it possible?

MACFEADY stares at him.

CROWE: I see.

MACFEADY: I'm not sure you really… (his phone rings) Hang on. Yes? They did what? Seriously? Were hostages involved? Their children were threatened, was that it? Keep on it and keep me posted. (he hangs up) Damn! A strike development.

CROWE: Something bad?

MACFEADY: Yes. Something was negotiated, with the directors' guild. How could they have let that happen? We actually agreed on something! Someone over there is thinking long term and I don't like it one bit. Apparently some of the other studio heads have been going around being reasonable behind our backs. Gotta be Chernin and Iger, they had that look…

CROWE: Isn't this good? I mean, now you can work out a fair and equitable deal with the writers. Everyone wins, right?

MACFEADY: Yeah, probably. Fun while it lasts, though. It's, what, 10:30? C'mon, time for the scab fight.

CROWE: The–

MACFEADY: Picture it. Big arena. Thousands of screaming onlookers. Two desperate writers, armed only with G-2 Pro ballpoint pens, battling it out for supremacy. The survivor gets to work anonymously writing late night monologues. We're thinking of taping it and running it on Sunday nights. It's in Sound Stage 3, if we hurry we can see the ritual bloodletting!

CROWE: I'm Mick Crowe, with "Filthy Jobs." We'll be right back. Darsky? Guys? Can you help scrub this stuff off me? It's getting into my soul …

MACFEADY: Afterwards you can hose their shattered dreams off the floor. Better hang on to that bucket.

More to come!

If you can make it, look for me wandering around with a camera and a glazed expression, much like this one. Be forewarned I take no responsibility for any amount of money you've spent on Serenity items on my say-so. Mostly I talk about this stuff because I've already bought it myself.

Speaking of which, look for a review of BenBella Books newest versy release, "The Psychology of Joss Whedon," by Joy Davidson. Just came out this week, and I'm taking my copy along on the plane to study my prey, so a review will be forthcoming when I get back. In the meantime you can get it at Amazon and at BenBella Books.

Below is the press release for Mutant Enemy Day. You can get more up to date information at the Fans4Writers.com forums under "Joss Whedon fans".

MUTANT FANS DESCEND ON FOX
Fans of writer/creator Joss Whedon come together to show their support for the WGA.

LOS ANGELES, CALIF. – Joss Whedon's fans have become legendary for their enthusiasm, activism and outspoken support. This Friday they'll exhibit all three as they gather together to join the picket lines of the writers' strike.

From the very first day of the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike, fans of writer/creator Joss Whedon have been supporting the writers in their struggle for fair compensation. Within the first week Fans4Writers (F4W), an outreach program for fans of all movies and shows, was created to coordinate efforts to support WGA writers with "Food 4 Thought" food drops to strike lines and morale-boosting campaigns.

Now the fans are coming from around the world to gather together at the site of Whedon's former production company Mutant Enemy, home of such shows as "Angel," "Firefly," and the pop culture phenomenon "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," to demonstrate to the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) that viewers demand a fair deal for the writers they respect.

"I couldn't miss this," said C. A. Bridges, a F4W founder who is flying in from central Florida. "They've done so much for us, the chance to give a little back is wonderful."

On Friday, December 7, 2007, an estimated 150 fans will gather together for Mutant Enemy Day to picket in front of FOX Studios. To continue the theme of helping others and the importance of words, Fans4Writers will also be organizing a book and food drive with the theme of "Feed the Mind, Feed the Body."  The public is urged to bring books and media materials to be donated to the Santa Monica Public Library, and canned goods and other non-perishable items for the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.
 
"We are honored to be involved in helping organize events such as ME Day," said Brenda Lawhorn, another F4W founder traveling to ME Day from Ohio, "to come together not just as fans, writers, and actors but as people with a common purpose for a just cause; the recognition that creativity must not be treated as a replaceable and unimportant commodity. Without the writers, there would be nothing for us to be fans of."

Joining the fans will be Mutant Enemy writers such as Whedon himself, Tim Minear ("Angel," "Firefly," "Drive"), Steven S. DeKnight ("Buffy," "Angel," "Smallville"), Rebecca Kirshner ("Buffy," "Gilmore Girls"), David Fury ("Buffy," "Angel," "Lost," "24"), Jane Espenson ("Buffy," "Angel," "Firefly," "Battlestar Galactica", Ben Edlund ("Angel," "Firefly," "Supernatural"), and Marti Noxon ("Buffy," "Angel," "Gray's Anatomy").

Actors expected to join the march include Eliza Dushku ("Buffy," "Angel," Tru Calling"), Alexis Denisof ("Buffy," "Angel," "How I Met Your Mother"), Nathan Fillion ("Buffy," "Firefly," Serenity, Waitress, "Desperate Housewives"), Summer Glau ("Angel," "Firefly," Serenity, "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"), Amy Acker ("Angel," "Alias," "Ghost Whisperer"), Felicia Day ("Buffy," "The Guild"), and Juliet Landau ("Buffy," "Angel," BioShock).

“Our fans have proven time and again that the audience is now an active force in the entertainment world,” Whedon said. “The fact that fans would gather — and in some cases fly across the country — not for a convention, not to meet glamorous actors, but to walk the picket line in support of the writers whose stories they cherish, shows how informed, involved and supportive they are.  It's a morale boost to the writers, no doubt, but it's also a message to everyone else: the audience matters.  Actually, more than any side involved in the negotiations.  Without them, we're nothing.  With them, we plan to make a little noise.”

This is not the first time fans of Whedon's shows have come out in force for a cause. As of today, Whedon fans have raised over $300,000 for various charities in the last decade such as the International Red Cross, the LA Food Bank, and Equality Now.

Mutant Enemy Day will take place in front of FOX Studios, 10201 W. Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA, 90064, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.. More details are available at www.fans4writers.com .

# # #

These items join the QMx Serenity Blueprints and the Serenity comics I've already put on auction. You can find all my Serenity auctions here. Bid high, and bid often!

(Many thanks to everyone who bid on the autograph cards, and congratulations to the winners!)

Recap: there’s a Mutant Enemy Fan Day coming up this Friday with Joss and Jane and Tim Minear and Marti Noxon and Steven DeKnight and more writers from Buffy, Angel, and Firefly getting together with about a hundred fans (so far) and striking in front of FOX studios. Come and join us! More details.

This set joins the Serenity comics and Inkworks autograph cards I've already put on auction. You can find all my Serenity auctions here. Bid high, and bid often!

Recap: there’s a Mutant Enemy Fan Day coming up next Friday with Joss and Jane and Tim Minear and Marti Noxon and Steven DeKnight and more writers from Buffy, Angel, and Firefly getting together with about a hundred fans (so far) and striking in front of FOX studios. Come and join us! More details.

My auctions will all be three days long. Short notice, I know, but the event is next Friday. Still up for grabs are some hard-to-find autographed cards from the sold out Inkworks Firefly and Serenity sets.

Check back, more items will be added in the next couple days. Bid high, and bid often!

Recap: there’s a Mutant Enemy Fan Day coming up next Friday with Joss and Jane and Tim Minear and Marti Noxon and Steven DeKnight and more writers from Buffy, Angel, and Firefly getting together with about a hundred fans (so far) and striking in front of FOX studios. Come and join us! More details.

Problem is, I ain't got a lot of extra cash for something like this, especially before the holidays. So to raise a few bucks, I'm digging through my horde of Serenity Stuff and offering it up on eBay. First up, just posted, are some hard-to-find autographed cards from the sold out Inkworks Firefly and Serenity sets.

Check back, more items will be added in the next couple days. Bid high, and bid often!